Alison Jutzi Talks Amongst Herself

The Last Four Shows

2012-01-12T06:44:00.001-08:00

Well, despite starting off the run having contracted the plague, I have really enjoyed doing The Last Five Years with Clearwater Theatre Company at the Tarragon extra-space, and our audiences seem to be enjoying the show as well. We've had lovely reviews from both Mooney on Theatre and NOW Magazine, and many a positive comment from many a friend and relative.

This production marks the first professional show in Clearwater's history, and I'm excited to follow the work of this company and its Artistic Director, Kate Stevenson. Expect good things, folks!

"The Last Five Years"

2011-12-14T06:05:00.000-08:00

An interview with myself.

Interviewer: We're here with Alison Jutzi today who is going to talk to us about her latest project, "The Last Five Years", which will be going up at the Tarragon theatre this January. Welcome, Alison.

Alison: Oh, thank you. It's a pleasure to be here.

Interviewer: Alison, can you tell us a little bit about the show?

Alison: Great question. The show is a brilliant musical written by Jason Robert Brown, and centres around a man and woman who fall in love, get married and then get separat-

Interviewer: Whoa whoa whoa! Don't give anything away!

Alison: Well, I'm not actually giving away anything that you don't find out in the first 10 seconds of the show. This show is unique in that one of the characters experiences the events of the five-year-long relationship in chronological order, and one of them in reverse.

Interviewer: Ohhhhh...like Memento?

Alison: Everyone keeps saying that. Yes, I guess so, like Memento. But not really.

Interviewer: So, I'll ask what most of our readers are likely wondering: "What's the point of going through the whole show if you already know the ending right away?"

Alison: Um. I think that with this show, the real joy for the audience comes from the putting together of the puzzle of how the relationship went downhill.

Interviewer: Given the complex nature of the show-

Alison: It's really not that complex...

Interviewer: -do you think the audience will understand what's going on, or do you think you'll lose them halfway through?

Alison: Um. I think the audience will be fine.

Interviewer: Well, let's hope so. Thanks for chatting with us this morning, Alison.

Alison: You're welcome. It was my favourite interview of all time.

What I Have Learned About Marriage in 7 Months

2011-11-25T06:47:00.000-08:00

And now, the much-anticipated second post in my What I Have Learned About Marriage collection. You can read the first post here.

Age of marriage: (almost) 7 months

They say that the first year of marriage is the hardest, but I cannot see how the year after all the wedding planning is done could possibly be difficult. Not spending several paralyzing hours a week trying to pick out a china pattern at the Bay has been great for our relationship;
Saying "husband" and "wife" is fun! For the first few months it sounded almost silly, but now I'm used to it and I like it;
I haven't had as many people ask me when I'm going to have children as I thought I would;
Sometimes when you're married, people call you Mrs. Sullivan and it makes you giggle;
Sometimes when you're married, people call your husband Mr. Jutzi and that makes you guffaw;
That joint bank account we started is fabulous! I've bought more clothes with that money...I'M JOKING! IT'S A JOKE!
Those moments where we're alone and acting silly together are precious.

My Pop Choir

2011-11-14T16:45:00.000-08:00

I am very pleased to announce that I will be joining the My Pop Choir team in the new year when I start conducting a choir at their brand new Bloor West location. My Pop Choir is for people who want to sing because it feels good. There are no auditions, and no one ever has to sing a solo. It is just a group of people getting together for an hour and a half each week, singing in harmony and having a good time.

Check out the My Pop Choir website for more information!

Overheard at a commercial audition.

2011-11-12T19:57:00.001-08:00

This post could also be entitled, "Conversations between actors that seem interesting when you're involved in them, but are definitely tedious and boring when you're not." Here are snippets of conversations I overheard at that commercial audition I had for that cleaning product on Friday. They are typical of the banter that occurs when two actor friends run into each other:

Have you been going out for a lot of film and t.v.?

No, just commercials lately. It's so hard to get your foot in the door.

I knowwww. I didn't go to one audition all summer. ALL summer. And I haven't booked anything in a year.

Oh, that's too bad. I've had a really hard time being seen too. This week I shot my first commercial in a year.

That's great!

Yeah, it's good. But I wish I could just get my foot in the door for some film and t.v. auditions.

Tell me about it.

So I ran into *casting director* and she told me she was sorry for not calling me in. She remembers me because I send her postcards every few months. So when I saw her at *industry event* and she apologized for not bringing me in, I thought maybe she'd call me in for something soon, but she hasn't and that was two months ago, so.

Well, at least she knows who you are. You never know when the perfect role will come up.

That's true. I'm thinking of asking her if I can come in and observe a casting session. I know she has an assistant, but.

That's a good idea.

Did I hear you say you got married?

Yes!

That's so exciting! When was the wedding?

Just this past July, it was really great. A lot of work though.

That's so nice. Yeah, it is a lot of work. When I got married, we booked the wedding on a Sunday night because we knew we'd be free on a Sunday night if either of us got a gig, and of course both of us were working when the wedding came, so we had to do the rehearsal in between a matinee and evening performance. It was so crazy. But you have to do it that way, because the alternative is to turn down work, y'know?

I haven't worked in three years, so it wasn't really an issue.

*awkward laughter*

I am beautiful, no matter what you say.

2011-11-08T05:51:00.000-08:00

My Drake General Store spot is out, and I've never looked better.

I Am Not Pregnant.

2011-11-02T06:43:00.000-07:00

Just wanna get that out there. Because this post is going to be about pregnancy, and I don't want everyone to get all excited like when I posted a link to this hilarious Hairpin article about delivering a baby, and subsequently caused a bit of a stir.

I want to talk about those people who comment on Facebook statuses of pregnant women, warning them how crappy their life is about to get. You know the kind. And if you don't, here are some examples:

Preggers: "I had the best sleep last night. 9 hours!"

Negative Nelly: "Enjoy your sleep now because you won't be getting any when the baby comes lol!"

Preggers: "What a wonderful first anniversary with the love of my life: Steak and ice cream, and a lovely moonlit stroll on the beach...it really doesn't get better than this."

Debbie Downer: "Don't get used to it, once the baby comes you won't get any alone time lol!"

Preggers: "Loved having a girls' night last night. Thanks to Stace and Rachel for showing me a good time!"

Cynical Cynthia: "Did you tell them you won't ever be able to see them again once the baby comes? I haven't been out since Gabe was born and that was two years ago! lol! kill me."

I don't get it. And I don't think it's because I'm not a mom. My close friends who are moms don't make comments like those above, and I think it's because they know that:

1) pregnant women who have any sort of grasp of reality already know they're going to be busy and tired when the baby comes;

2) there is no way to store up sleep in the body, so "enjoying your sleep now" isn't going to do much to alleviate the fatigue that comes with round-the-clock feedings; and

3) the acronym "lol" needs to die a quick death, and soon.

Maybe I'll change my tune when I become a mom. Maybe when I post comments that might sound negative to some on my pregnant friends' walls, my pregnant friends will understand that while I may be saying something that sounds vaguely like, "Your life is going to suck soon!" they'll know that what I really mean is, "Having young kids can be hard, but I'm going through it too and I'm here to help!" Maybe that will happen. But I'll be damned if I'm going to start laughing out loud about it.

Shooting and Eating Leaves.

2011-10-03T17:54:00.000-07:00

We've had salad for dinner the past two nights, which totally justifies my eating half a bag of Brookside pomegranate chocolates tonight. I was intending to save them for an upcoming dinner party, but you know what they say: "When life hands you dark chocolate-covered pomegranate candies, you will probably snarf them immediately."

My creative energy abounds these days. I'm taking the Improv for Actors course at Second City, headed up by Chris Earle, a brilliant mainstage alumnus; Chelsea and I are busy writing funny roots tunes for our soon-to-be-formed trio; I have teamed up with some very talented people to finally shoot a music video for one of my original songs; and tomorrow I will be shooting a funny commercial for the Drake General Store. I think this spot will be a winner, and I'm looking forward to posting it here when it airs.

Life is busy and life is good.

The Drake General Store

Dear New Subway Train.

2011-09-21T10:07:00.000-07:00

Dear ~~New Subway Train~~ Rocket,

My God, you're gorgeous! With your antimicrobial surface treatment and your electronic maps and your 10% more capacity and your $1,000,000,000.00 price tag.

I just have one question:

WHEN WILL YOU LET ME RIDE YOU?

The other day you slowed down and stopped as I waited anxiously on the southbound platform at Eglinton, only to chug along down the track as a TTC employee informed me you were being used for driver training only that day. My hopes of losing my Rocket virginty were cruelly dashed, and not for the first time either.

Is it because I'm married? Is that what's scaring you off? Because, just to be clear, my husband is in full support of this.

Let's make it happen, Rocket. You have only to open your doors to me.

Love,
Alison

NAME OUR ALL-WOMEN COMEDIC ROOTS TRIO!

2011-08-28T11:53:00.000-07:00

Big news, folks. I am making the colossal yet inevitable move from comedic folk to comedic roots. Yep, it's a big move, but one I think I'm ready for.

Chelsea Manders and I are starting a comedic roots trio which will parody groups like "The Dixie Chicks", "The Good Lovelies", "The Wailing Jennies" and "The Be Good Tanyas", and we're looking for a name.

Can you help? Our current front-runner is "The Do Good Fannies", but we think someone out there will have an even better idea. Please leave a comment here with your suggestion. A prize will be awarded to the winner!

Thanks so much!

Alison

What I Love About Calgary Fringe.

2011-08-05T00:17:00.000-07:00

1. Our large audiences, even on opening night when nobody knew anything about us;

2. The musty-smelling church basement where we all gather for cabaret nights and $3 beer;

3. Club Paradiso, our awesome venue that sometimes feeds us tacos;

4. Karaoke at the Shamrock Hotel with the other artists, especially when we end the night with a group sing-a-long of Don't Stop Believin';

5. Our fabulous billeters who make us salmon and lend us their Acura;

6. The brilliant shows we've seen while here, including Oneymoon, Spitting in the Face of the Devil, Houdini's Last Escape, Slut Revolution and When Harry Met Harry.

7. Trips to Banff and Drumheller on our three consecutive days off.

I am having a blast, and would love to stay longer, if I didn't miss this guy so much:

Wedding Song

2011-07-15T21:56:00.000-07:00

A song I wrote for Philip in honour of our wedding...

Women's Tennis is SEXY!

2011-07-14T16:59:00.000-07:00

How does a person think of a really sexist idea for an ad, and then present it to a bunch of people in a board room without any of them pointing out that it's outrageously sexist, and how is it subsequently presented to the client who has hired them to create the ad without anyone in that boardroom saying, "Wait a second, everyone, don't you think maybe this is a bit yucky? No, nobody? Okay, cool. Pass the sandwiches. Ooh, is that olive tapenade?"

See "Folk with Benefits" in Toronto! MONDAY, JULY 25TH AT THE ANNEX LIVE!

2011-07-11T08:34:00.000-07:00

Hi folks,

What are you doing on Monday, July 25th at 7pm?

PROBABLY COMING TO THE ANNEX LIVE TO SEE THE ONE TORONTO PERFORMANCE OF MY CALGARY FRINGE SHOW, RIGHT?

This show is funny and silly, and I think you'll really like it. Check out the lovely work of my husband and poster designer:

"Helder Brum & Friends"

2011-07-07T13:01:00.000-07:00

Oh goodness, posting about another show, aren't I just a bit self-promotey these days? Well, the good news is all the shows I tell you about are probably going to be funny and awesome. I promise never to invite you to a taping of me as a Metro supermarket spokesperson.

I will be the musical guest at Helder Brum & Friends at Bread and Circus on Thursday, July 21st. What am I doing wasting all this energy typing? I could just show you the poster:

These shows are so much fun - you have to come! Bread and Circus is a great venue and the performers are some of the best that the Toronto comedy scene has to offer. Hope to see you there!

Folk With Benefits

2011-07-06T19:56:00.000-07:00

Oh, hello, hi. So I'm sitting here in my pretty dress which I wore to Hugh Jackman's wonderful show, watching an old GSP fight on the TiVo because Phil turned it on and then left the room, and I thought I would say hello, hi, how are you, and let you know what I've been working on.

I and my friend Chelsea are busily gearing up for our Calgary Fringe show, Folk With Benefits, which will run from July 29th to August 6th. If you live in the Calgary area, we'd love to see you there. If you live in Toronto, we'd love to see you pay $672 to come see us, and we promise we'll give you at least one free beer.

Let me tell you a little bit about our show. It's about two comedic folk songstresses on the last leg of their cross-Canada tour. It's funny, quirky and dirty, and you will love it. Seriously, totally worth the $672.

Check out our website! Not to brag, but I made it myself and hardly cried at all when I was trying to figure out how to publish it. Now that I've done it, I'm considering becoming an IT consultant.

And now to summarize: Folk With Benefits, Calgary, I'm a computer genius.

Good night!

What I Have Learned About Marriage in 1 Month

2011-06-06T11:31:00.001-07:00

Hello, reader(s). In a new collection of essays entitled What I Have Learned About Marriage I will explore my journey throughout this new and exciting chapter in my life, detailing what I have learned along the way.

Age of marriage: 1 Month

Here it is, just over one month after Philip and I tied the knot at Toronto's Berkeley Church on April 30th, 2011. Here is what I have learned:

Marriage is super fun! It involves lots of drinking and partying and people giving you copious amounts of cash in envelopes!
Marriage involves renting an apartment in Lisbon when the weather is perfect, and having the time of your life.
Marriage means you have leftover cake in your freezer that you will probably eat on your and your new huzzzband's birthdays this month.
Marriage ensures that your fridge is well-stocked with all the beer that couldn't be returned to the beer store.

I don't know why people say marriage is work. I think it's all just a big party.

WOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nuptials.

2011-05-17T08:43:00.000-07:00

People and the internet tell you that your wedding day should be the best day of your life. Leading up to my April 30th wedding, I hated the pressure to HAVE AN AMAZING TIME OH MY GOD and couldn't fathom how it could possibly work out that way. This day? This one day that involves so much planning and fretting and waking up in the middle of the night worrying that your guests will starve or that you're accidentally going to forget you're wearing your old backpack as you walk down the aisle*? This is going to be that day? That day that is better than any other? No way. That is unrealistic and a bit insane.

There were many moments of the wedding planning process that I thoroughly enjoyed. These included making strawberry-rhubarb jam with Phil and my mom to give as wedding favours; wedding dress shopping; my bachelorette and shower; all the free cake at all those wedding shows.

See? There were a lot of positive things about wedding planning.

But mostly it stressed me out. It made me feel anxious. It frustrated me. It drove me to drink. Two months before our day, I felt how I imagine a very pregnant woman feels when she is terribly uncomfortable and can't sleep through the night, and JUST WANTS THE WEDDING TO BE BORN ALREADY.

And I waited. And I forced a smile when people said, "Are you excited???" and I replied "Yes! I just want the day to be here! I can't wait!...YAY!!!" and my insides clenched a little more as I remembered I still needed to write my speech and get the centrepieces to the venue and find someone to do my makeup and ask people to bring video cameras and and and...

But Phil was a champ, and as I took the fetal position and waited for it all to be over, he printed programs and placecards and ordered the booze and booked the rehearsal dinner venue and was generally a fabulous wedding-planning partner.

Then the day arrived. After a week of rain, we finally had clear skies and sunshine. I spent the morning at the salon with some of my favourite people, and we enjoyed relaxed conversation while being pampered and made to look beautiful. In the afternoon we continued the beautifying at the hotel, as makeup was applied, dresses were put on, and fake eyelashes were secured.

A flurried photography session which included several shots on the roof-top of the hotel, thanks to the perfect weather, was followed by our heading over to the Berkeley for the ceremony, arriving 20 minutes later than we'd intended, but 10 minutes before we needed to be there. Somehow I got a big stain on the back of my dress from the car to the venue, but my trusty bridesmaids, after helping me hoist the gown over my head as I used the ladies' room, assured me that it was barely noticeable and that they could arrange the train so that it wouldn't be seen. (Truth be told, I couldn't have cared less about the stain - it makes a good story. Especially because it looked strangely like a tire track, and I don't recall being run over at any time that day.)

Our fabulous on-site coordinator, Liz, gave me a glass of water and let me chill out for a bit before telling me it was time to head up to the balcony for the ceremony. I stood up, and that was when it hit me: this was my wedding day. For really real. Phil, who I hadn't seen or spoken to all day, was upstairs waiting for me. This was it! And I got a little happy-woozy and looked at Nicole and said "whoa" and she smiled encouragingly and we headed up the spiral staircase to the balcony.

The walk down the aisle was a happy one, mom on my left and dad on my right. As I approached Phil we beamed at each other and said with our eyes, "We did it! It's happening! How great!"

The evening was full of family, friends, kind words, music, dancing, and poutine. Without realizing it was happening, I took off the wedding planner hat and put on the bridal veil and really, truly enjoyed myself. The year and a half leading up to the day was about details, but the day was pure celebration.

Phil came into my life and I knew he was my future husband, so I figured I'd better marry him. He has changed my life in the best of ways, and I feel lucky to be his wife**. He makes me laugh, he holds me when I cry, and we both feel so fortunate to have found one another.

And yes, it was the best day of my life.

* I actually had a dream about that.
** I'm a WIFE!

Wiser's spot.

2011-03-11T11:39:00.000-08:00

Good Enough.

2011-02-01T13:36:00.001-08:00

Our friends Pam and Kelly got married this past fall. They have a lot of friends who sing, which is mostly Pam's fault because she's a musical-theatre person, so they couldn't pick just one or two people to perform at their wedding. In the end, they decided to host a concert a month before the wedding (because, really, the worst thing about being a bride is that moment when you realize you don't have enough things TO DO on your TO DO lists that you keep making and then keep losing, and anyway they're all kind of useless because you totally forgot to put, like, FIVE REALLY IMPORTANT THINGS on there anyway, and so to remedy this sometimes you will HOST A HUGE CONCERT in order to calm your nerves and give yourself something TO DO to alleviate all the boredom of PLANNING A WEDDING).

Well, anyway, that's what Pam and Kelly did. And my hat is very extremely OFF to them for being so ambitious. It was a fabulous evening with many wonderful voices, and I was quite pleased to be asked to participate. The performers were all backstage during the show, so I was thrilled when Pam sent me a DVD of the concert so I could finally see all the performances that I had only been able to hear on the night.

I performed two of my own songs. Here's a video of one of them:

I wrote that song a few years ago, and it really doesn't have the same zing when you're wearing an engagement ring.

BMO Commercial

2011-01-19T15:10:00.000-08:00

The BMO commercial I shot a couple of months ago is now airing. Please note that my husband is Paul Lee of Train 48 fame. Also, I inherited that purse from my Wiser's commercial which should also be airing soon. Am I going to be typecast as "lady with silver purse"?

Joshi Detox II - Week 3

2010-11-04T08:45:00.000-07:00

I admit it, I've been cheating.

We've been to several functions recently - parties, industry events, dinners with future in-laws - and I may have had some red wine here and there, and perhaps some wheat pasta, and maybe some delicious homemade trifle.

BUT I have mostly not been cheating, and I feel really good, and want to continue with the detox next week (sort of) while allowing myself some fruit and cheat days, which I REFUSE to feel guilty about.

A few months ago when I tried on the fancy dress I bought in London with my "Maria" per diem, the one I'd spent good money having tailored to fit me just right, I could barely sausage myself into it. Seriously, it took me and Phil working together to make it happen, and we almost had to abort the mission. Last night before the Geminis I slipped into it quite comfortably, and even had room to spare.

Good changes are happening. I'm eating more vegetables. Turns out I kind of like raw broccoli. Also, I'm making sure we have fun veggies on hand like edamame and bok choy, so it's not all about carrots and celery all the time. I have also ceased to have major sugar cravings.

Oh, here's a tip. When you're not allowed to eat gluten, dairy or tomatoes DO NOT EAT PIZZA. Ugh, I don't know what we were thinking when we ordered a gluten-free, mozzarella-free, tomato-sauce free pizza the other night. It was wrong on every level. The next day Phil made this amazing rice pasta dish with chicken and sauteed onions, and it was delicious AND detox-friendly. So, I think the lesson is: if you're going to eat pizza, eat a damn pizza already. There are some things that just aren't going to taste good on the detox, and you can avoid them.

Or cheat. I won't judge you.

I was on Ellen!

2010-10-26T11:25:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I appeared on the Ellen show for the first time. Click here to see my debut.

:)

In other news, I auditioned for a Ford commercial last week, which is shooting today. I did not book it as it turns out, which might be a good thing. The bitter irony of saying "I love my new Ford" today would be more than I can take.

Joshi Detox II - Week Two

2010-10-25T14:19:00.000-07:00

Day 7 - I wake up and happily go to the gym for an hour. I am sleeping deeply and feel great when I wake up. In the middle of the afternoon we are out and I haven't eaten enough, so I buy an apple and some seeds and nuts at a grocery store to get me through till dinner. We meet friends for dinner and I order salmon with rice and veggies, and just drink water. I am craving gingerale, but other than that I'm quite happy.

Day 8 - I've slept well again, and get out of bed quite easily (even though it's a work day). Am continuing to enjoy my hot lemon drink, like every other morning since I started the detox. Try some cocoa-flavoured Quinoa cereal, but find it's way too sweet so I don't think it's a good cleanse food. Found I was hungry as soon as I got to work, so I need to have an egg or some pumpkin butter for breakfast instead. (Speaking of which, pumpkin butter is fantastic, no matter what the colour and texture may remind you of). Lunch is cottage cheese, rice crackers, raw broccoli and carrots, and one slice of gluten-free bread with a bit of honey. I really find that bananas are the saving grace of this detox, though right now I have a bunch at home that aren't ready to eat. For dinner we have a ready-made roasted chicken from the grocery store, rice and peas and carrots. Joshi says it's fine to eat frozen veggies because they are usually picked ripe, as opposed to a lot of the veggies we find in the grocery store, which ripen on trucks (thus depleting their nutritional content).

Day 9 - Another fabulous sleep. I get up and start the kettle for hot lemon, and sip that while I start getting ready for work. I learned from yesterday that I need a substantial breakfast, so I soft-boil two eggs and eat them with two slices of gluten-free toast. I also drink cold herbal tea, which we always try to have on hand. It's a nice change from water. As an addict to orange juice with my breakfast, this is a decent alternative because it's cold and fresh and fruity. I pack my lunch: chopped carrots, bok choy and celery, some cottage cheese, rice chips, and a bit of hummus. When I get to work, I make sure to drink a couple of glasses of water right away. I eat dinner out, and order a chicken curry with rice. It unfortunately has some sweet chutney, peppers and tomatoes on top, which I try to avoid with minimal success. I do not, however, touch the pita bread that comes with it. I go to a theatre opening, and successfully avoid the pink champagne. I'm hungry when I get home, so I have a delicious shake made with bananas, rice milk, pumpkin butter and ice.

Day 10 - Great sleep. Great hot lemon. Breakfast is Corn Flakes (I think this is cheating a bit because while they're wheat-free, sugar is the second ingredient) with rice milk and a banana. For lunch I have chicken, rice and bok choy. I feel like I need a treat in the afternoon, so I stop by Starbucks on my way home and get a tall decaf soy latte with a bit of honey. I think I'm technically supposed to avoid even decaf coffee, but Joshi said this would be okay as a treat. For dinner we decide to actually sit at the table instead of in front of the television, which has unfortunately become our habit, and enjoy our meal and some conversation. We eat salad with mesclun, carrots, celery, onion, broccoli and feta, with an olive oil and garlic dressing. Then we have salmon with brown rice. Neither of us is much of a fan of the brown rice, but we're trying to be good. Later in the evening I have one gluten-free cookie, which Phil calls cheating and I call delicious. One thing to note: I desperately wanted a glass of red wine with dinner.

AND THEN I CHEATED. OOPS. IT MAY HAVE INVOLVED NAAN AND RED WINE. MORE TO COME WHEN I GET BACK ON TRACK...

Joshi Detox II - DAY 5

2010-10-22T07:00:00.000-07:00

Dear Dr. Joshi,

I'm back!

Phil and I decided to do your detox again because we really enjoyed its benefits last time (weight loss, greatly improved stomach issues, general feeling of healthiness).

Recently we'd both been complaining about our bad eating habits, and our respective struggles with the scale, so this is our attempt to get back on track.

THE BAD

This time around I felt extremely lethargic during the first few days of the cleanse, and still do. I sleep so deeply that it's hard to get up in the morning. The first two days especially I felt very warm and uncomfortable, which I imagine to be a symptom of my body detoxifying itself. Last night I was feeling a lot of negative energy building up in me, and I wonder if this is all related to detoxing.

THE GOOD

I've noticed a real change in my appetite since days 1 and 2. The first couple of days, I was feeling a bit desperate about food. I noticed all the times in the day where I would have had a sugar fix (brown sugar on my cereal, tea with sugar on the way to work, sugary treats in my lunch, perhaps a mid-afternoon pop, those delicious ice cream bars that are sitting in my freezer) so I think, of all the foods I have to avoid while on the detox, sugar is my biggest crutch. BUT the good news is that my cravings are definitely disappearing. I've started to be quite satisfied with the hot gluten-free cereal we've been eating in the mornings, and I don't feel the need to eat a spoonful of honey in the evening, just to get my sugar fix.

More updates to come...

Engagement Shoot by Daniela Foster.

2010-10-12T09:20:00.001-07:00

At one of the many wedding shows Phil and I have attended this year, we were fortunate enough to win a free engagement shoot with Daniela Foster photography. We met up with Daniela a few weeks ago on what turned out to be a beautiful fall day, and we roamed from St. Lawrence Market to the Sky Dome for a couple of hours. Daniela just sent me a few teaser pics, so I thought I'd post some of them here. We had a lovely time with her, and are very happy with the photos. If you're looking for a wedding photographer, you should definitely check her out!

Dear Blog.

2010-08-11T12:45:00.001-07:00

Dear Blog,

Sorry I've been neglecting you lately. The thing is, I've been having a really fun summer so I haven't been internetting as much as usual. What have I been doing? Oh, this and that. Like...

This:

And that:

And playing this:

And hanging out with this one:

And looking for one of these:

And I just shot a commercial for Wiser's which will be a lot like this:

Anyway, Blog, I'm sure you'll understand if I prioritize jumping in lakes and dining with friends for a bit. I predict I'll want to soak up this fine, albeit muggy, weather for the next little while and won't be visiting you again until the fall.

Do take care of yourself, and I look forward to our continued relationship in the coming months.

Yours Truly,

Alison Jutzi

Dear Ireland.

2010-06-29T07:24:00.001-07:00

Dear Ireland,

What's with you being so gorgeous, with your rolling hills of patchwork-quilt countryside and your rocky shores and your beautiful and historic castles, churches and forts?

Also, what's with all your friendly people with their charming and melodic accents? What's that all about?

And another thing, what's the story with all the sheep that I took all those pictures of, especially the ones that were in the middle of the road and wouldn't let the car go by, giving me the satisfaction of an authentically Irish experience. What is the deal?

But most of all, Ireland:

WHAT'S WITH YOUR WEATHER?

I packed my sexy new rainboots and only wore them that one day in Howth because it was sunny and warm the rest of the time. What is with that? When did you suddenly get better weather than Cuba? It might have been nice if you'd warned me so I could've packed more bikinis and fewer wool socks.

But I will forgive you, because you showed me a really good time.

Love,
Alison

Being a mascot.

2010-06-08T17:30:00.000-07:00

Did I ever tell you that I sometimes work as a mascot?

I started dressing up as a certain bear for a certain bank several years ago, and continue to do the odd gig to this day (odd being the operative word).

The first thing I remember noticing about life inside the bear costume is that people really treat you differently when you're dressed as a big cuddly animal, and I mean this in both a good and bad way. Little kids generally like me WAY more when I'm in costume. Then there are those jerk kids who just want to punch me and pull my arms off 'cause "YOU'RE NOT REAL! I CAN TELL!". And of course there are the adults who are repulsed by me and the security guards who I can tell might not stick up for me if someone tries to punch me out.

Last weekend I did a mascot gig in Dundas Square, where there were bands performing. One band member got on the microphone and invited everyone to kick me in the ribs. Perhaps he doesn't like the bank my costume represents? It got me to thinking about how people don't really consider the person inside the mascot outfit, they just see a corporation trying to cute-ify itself; a wolf in sheep's clothing, luring children into their fold.

And that made me a bit nervous about dressing up in costume at Yonge and Dundas.

Still, I had a good time. There was music playing all afternoon so I danced for hours, and got a lot of the usual, "YOU MUST BE HOT!" and "I HOPE THERE'S AIR CONDITIONING IN THAT SUIT!".

Oh, and the best. The BEST? Is the parents who try to force their small children to hug me. 75% of kids think I'm awesome and want to hang out with me and be my best friend, but those other 25% think I'm the devil and their well-meaning parents just can't stop it with the "It's okay, honey, come on, give the bear a hug, come on, it's okay!" and meanwhile I'm thinking "I'M NOT OFFENDED, DON'T FORCE YOUR CHILD TO HUG ME PLEASE" but I can't say anything 'cause that's one of the rules. I also can't take my head off in front of anyone 'cause it might make children cry.

Things not to do when you see me in costume:

- Hand me your baby. I can't see very well, and have a huge head that I have little control over, so shouldn't be holding delicate things.

- Allow your child to punch me. This isn't fun for me, padding or no padding.

- Hug me really hard, pressing yourself against my chest to test if "THERE'S A GIRL OR GUY IN THAT SUIT!"

- Ask me any questions that might require more than "yes", "no", or "I don't know" in response. (I can nod, shake my head, and shrug. That's pretty much the extent to which I can communicate.)
- Expect me to have any sort of peripheral vision. I can see through the nose part of the head and that's it. I walk around in fear that I will accidentally trample a small child.

It's a fun job though, I must admit. The kids who love me, really love me...and seeing their reactions to the big furry animal I'm pretending to be is priceless. They don't care that I'm a corporate marketing tool. They just want to hug the big cuddly bear.

"Oh, What a Lovely War!" gets three Dora nominations!

2010-06-03T08:10:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I was waiting for my mushroom and onion burger at Fresh, slowly getting the feeling back in the upper left part of my mouth after just having come from the dentist, when Phil called me with some very exciting news: The Dora nominations had just been announced, and the show I recently did at Soulpepper has been nominated in three categories! They are: Outsanding Musical Direction (the incomparable Marek Norman), Outstanding Original Choreography (the magnificent Candace Jennings) and Outstanding Performance in a Featured Role/Ensemble - the whole cast!

I really enjoyed the Doras last year, and it will be even more exciting to attend this year as a nominee! We've got a very busy June planned, including a trip to Ireland, but fortunately we'll be around for the awards ceremony on June 28th. It will be a lovely excuse to reunite with my cast members. Here is a link to a list of all the nominees.

Happy Birthday, Eden!

2010-05-17T11:36:00.001-07:00

We were recently in Guelph to celebrate my niece Eden's first birthday. Phil and I got a few nice shots of the event, but I'll just post my favourite one. I think all things in life should be approached with this attitude:

"Wheeee birthday yay!!!"

(although with Eden's limited vocabulary it sounded more like, "Wow! Yeah! Hi!")

Book Reviews of Books I Barely Remember: Part 1

2010-05-14T10:38:00.000-07:00

Kristy's Great Idea

by Ann M. Martin

This is the first (of 132, as of this month) in the Babysitter's Club series, which I started reading when I was 11 years old. I don't recognize any titles after the 50-book mark, so I guess I was too busy being an awkward high school student to follow the trials of Kristy, Claudia, Mary Anne, Stacey and the others past 1992.

I ate this book up, much the same way I devoured four seasons of Sex and the City on DVD when I was bored for those two months in the winter of 2004. They are both giant chocolate-bars-with-caramel-inside for the brain.

The plot: Kristy gathers her three friends who all have different but complementary personalities and, more importantly, varied hair colours and styles, to form a club of babysitters (a "babysitter's club", if you will) which gathers weekly to schedule babysitting appointments for their neighbours, all of whom somehow remember to call during their club meeting hours.

The main characters: To continue with the Sex and the City comparison: boy-crazy Stacey would certainly be slutty Samantha, traditional and romantic Mary Anne would be Charlotte, bossy Kristy would be Miranda and I guess that leaves Claudia as the Carrie character, which works only in that both of their names start with "C".

But this post isn't about Sex and the City.

Did I like this book? At the time, yes. Why? Because it satisfied a deep-seated pre-teen female urge to have girlfriends with whom to gossip, eat homemade chocolate chip cookies, and complain about smelly boys. I was also a popular babysitter in our neighbourhood in Guelph, so I could relate to the girls' entrepreneurial ambitions. I remember having a weekly Friday night gig where I'd babysit two kids for five hours, and go home with a ten dollar bill and I thought that was awesome. I suppose those very low standards prepared me well for my actor's income.

Did I have any issues with this book? Yes. Kristy lives with her mom and stepdad, and her stepdad's two little kids from a previous marriage only come to visit them every other weekend, yet Kristy always seems to be babysitting them. So, let me get this straight: you get to see your kids four days a month, and somehow those are the days when you schedule martini dates with friends? TAKE A PARENTING COURSE.

Final verdict: If you are a girl who is 11 and it is 1989 and you like to read, you will love this book.

Dear shoes.

2010-05-06T05:59:00.000-07:00

Dear shoes,

Why do I have so many of you? I thought I was a low-maintenance person, but when I see you, my vast collection of footwear, I am forced to consider that the opposite may be true.

A lot of you are in storage. I've only kept in the front hall those of you that are essential to my every-day life at this moment (no disrespect, comfy brown winter boots with the pom-poms). Still, you are so many in number. Why?

I know why you're there, silver pointy-toed flats. You are new and shiny and hip, and even comfortable (thanks, Soft Moc).

White sandal pumps from Payless, I remember I bought you on a whim one day when I needed open-toed shoes to take to a pedicure appointment, and you have turned out to be one of my most-worn pair of summer shoes. Thanks for that.

Turquoise high-heeled sandals from Rockport. My love for you is real. You make me feel like I'm walking on air, and though I didn't wear you as much as I meant to last season, 2010 is sure to be your year.

Pretty brown flip-flops from Kenya. You get a lot of compliments because you're just so darn attractive. Even though you sometimes discolour the bottoms of my feet, I foresee a long future for us.

Tall black boots. Necessary.

Bronze pumps from Vancouver. Remember how I went back to the store three times before buying you? That was back when $99 seemed like a fortune, and I wanted to make sure I was making the right decision. I think we can both feel confident that I did.

Silver high-heeled sandals and gold high-heeled sandals, you will see me through many a wedding and dressy social function this spring and summer. Thank you in advance.

And you, the triumverate of super duper high heels: red, black, and bronze with the cheap-looking fake jewels on the toe. You joined my wardrobe compliments of the Maria show, so while I may not wear you often, you are still dear to my heart.

Black slip-on Sketchers. You have absolutely no heel support, but you're really easy to slip on when I need to take out garbage or go down to the laundry room, and so you stay.

BUT

You, new black shoes from Spring, have to go. My feet are still healing from our first and only jaunt around the city. I hope I will get my $30 back, though your soles are so obviously scuffed. Had I but known you would crush my tender little toesies so.

As for the rest of you, you may stay for another season, or perhaps five. But, with the blogosphere as my witness, you will not grow in number for at least 6 months.

Thank you for listening, shoes. I'm glad I got that off my chest.

Sincerely,

Alison

ACTOR TIPS: Surviving a musical theatre performance when you have a cold.

2010-05-04T10:09:00.000-07:00

Recently I was doing a musical here in Toronto, and I developed a cold in my final week of the run. Colds and flus make performing way less fun than it should be, but there are ways to deal with them - and deal with them we must! Here's how I get through the inevitability of getting sick while doing a run:

1. Sleep
This goes in the "duh" category. You know that sleep is important at all times, but especially when your body is trying to heal, right? So try to get as much sleep as possible before each show. If you need help with that, I would like to introduce you to my friends Neo Citran and NyQuil.

2. Oil of Oregano
Buy some oil of oregano (a natural antiobiotic) at the local health food store (or even some Shoppers Drugmart locations) and take 4 drops, three times a day. You can just put it under your tongue, or have it with water or juice. It does wonders for me.

3. Drink water.
When I'm sick, I make sure to have water bottles strategically placed in several places backstage. I find that if I make sure to lubricate my throat as often as possible, I'm way less likely to go into a coughing fit. Don't let your throat get dry.

4. Lozenges
Placing lozenges in several places backstage, and maybe in a pocket partially unwrapped (in case you have a coughing emergency on stage) is never a bad idea.

5. Green tea with honey.
A warm drink can be very soothing, but I find that black tea gives me a scratchy throat. Green tea with honey is just the ticket.

6. Breathe through your nose.
Especially if you are doing a musical, try breathing through your nose so your throat doesn't dry out as fast.

7. Pace yourself.
Save your energy for the show. Even having an animated discussion with another actor in the green room can zap your energy when you're sick, so try finding a quiet space where you can chill out.

8. Get to know your voice.
When you're sick, you may have to adjust the way you sing. Get to know your voice and what it needs (you don't want to rock your high belt if you know that your cold is going to cause your voice to crack). Maybe when you're sick you need to use your head voice more, or give more air support. Everyone's different, so get to know how you operate.

9. Prescription cough syrup.
Sometimes you have to break out the big guns. When I was working at The Grand last fall I had a cough that just wouldn't go away. The doctor at the local walk-in clinic gave me a prescription for cough syrup with codeine and it made my cough disappear completely. Kind of like magic.

10. Sour Kids
Sucking on a few Sour Kids (or any kind of sour, chewy candy) is a great way to lubricate your throat. Seriously - a doctor told me that!

Wedding Playlist.

2010-04-30T19:59:00.000-07:00

Phil and I are celebrating our pre-nniversary tonight (we're getting married a year from today) and so I thought I'd post a link* to this video of us looking for songs for our wedding playlist. The quality of the video is low, but our spirits are high! (mostly due to the wine we'd consumed before recording.)

* I tried to embed the video, but it ended up cutting off half the screen. Like, what's with that?

Tiger Ballet.

2010-04-06T06:17:00.000-07:00

Please enjoy this video, which clearly demonstrates how NOT to be a generous actor. I desperately want to know the back-story. Was the person in the tiger costume recast from a lead role? Did he or she just have a falling out with the director? Or is this the work of a very imaginative choreographer?

Overheard backstage.

2010-03-30T07:06:00.000-07:00

"I lost a pom pom, do we have any extras?"

Actor: "What's my next scene!"
Dresser: "I don't know!"

"Has anyone seen my frilly red underwear?"

"I shouldn't have had that falafel before the show."

"Sorry!" (usually following a collision as actors rush to make entrances)

"Greg, that dress looks great on you. I love the sparkles."

"I have to make a gunshot noise but I CAN'T FIND MY DRUMSTICK!"

"Crap, the curtain's busted."

"Someone tell stage management the curtain's busted."

"Does stage management know the curtain's busted?"

Actor: "Just so you know, the curtain's busted."
SM: "Yes, WE KNOW, THANK YOU. We'll fix it at intermission."

"How can I make myself pop out of this corset a little more?"

Actor 1:"I feel like I'm getting a bit of a sore throat"
Actor 2:"Don't touch me"

"Someone's pom pom is on stage"

"I can't find my gas mask"

"Are there any timbits left?"

"I forget what note I start on."

"Hey, I think someone brought you flowers. Oh wait, no - they're for the other Mike."

"Is this Act I or Act II?"

"I have a hole in my fishnets."

"You up for a beer after?"

"Oh What a Lovely War" videos.

2010-03-22T12:24:00.000-07:00

Last week I was thrilled to have my first opening night at Soulpepper Theatre Company here in Toronto. The show runs for three more weeks, and tickets can be found here. If you'd like a sneak peek, here are some behind-the-scenes videos from the Soulpepper website:

Whiskas Commercial

2010-02-24T17:33:00.000-08:00

I shot this Whiskas commercial in September, and spoke about the shoot here. I was sure they had decided not to air it, as it had been several months and I hadn't seen anything. Looks like I was wrong!

Oh, what a lovely show!

2010-02-02T19:18:00.000-08:00

My big news of 2009 was that I got engaged.

Wheee!!!

Ahem. As I was saying, the big news of last year was my engagement. However, before Phil proposed I was already over the moon about something else that has now been pushed to second place in the highlight reel of my life for 2009. But second place or not, it was very exciting when I found out - and continues to be now.

Last fall I was asked to perform with Soulpepper Theatre Company in its 2010 season. For audiences, Soulpepper is where you can see the best classical theatre in Toronto (and arguably all of Canada), and for artists it's a dream contract. To work with such a prestigious company is an honour.

We started rehearsals for the show this week. It's called Oh, What a Lovely War!, and is a musical satire of the first World War. With Albert Schultz directing and Marek Norman as our music director, I feel like I've died and gone to heaven. Right now we're doing table work, and learning all the beautiful war-time songs in the score (Keep the Home Fires Burning, Roses of Picardy etc.). The show runs from March 11th till April 10th and you can buy tickets here. It's going to be a good one, folks.

In other news, you may have been bombarded by my latest commercial already, but if not here's a link to my CRA spot. File online and on time, people!

Step we gaily, on we go...

2010-01-22T12:48:00.000-08:00

Picture it: Christmas day, close to midnight. A tree with coloured lights, me in my glasses and pj's, and a dashing young fellow with a diamond ring. That, ladies and gentlemen, is my proposal story.

Phil and I met 12 years ago when I was a student of the University of Toronto Theatre and Drama Studies program, and he was one of its alumni. As far as I can remember, our paths didn't cross again until I was a Facebook newbie in early 2007 and noticed I'd been poked (remember when people used to do that?) by Philip Sullivan. This started a long thread of friendly emails, a few ultimate frisbee games, and that was pretty much that.

...until last January when we ran into each other at a show. And went on some dates. And later went to New York city together. And spent time with my family at the cottage. And hung out with his mom and sisters in Toronto and Montreal. And he let me sub on his softball team. And he came to see my gigs. And we watched sports highlights together and I actually liked them. And we ate a lot of ice cream. And he held my hand while I stumbled on ice skates. And we fell in love.

And now the real adventure begins...

Christmas Eve on Sesame Street.

2009-12-18T06:57:00.000-08:00

Everyone has their favourite Christmas movie and mine is the 1978 Sesame Street Christmas special, Christmas Eve on Sesame Street. Finding this clip made me very happy this morning:

My Mother's Lesbian Jewish Wiccan Wedding

2009-12-14T15:31:00.000-08:00

I was introduced to David Hein just over a year ago at a singer/songwriter night hosted by my friend Grant Tilly. One of David's most memorable songs in his funny and entertaining set was My Mother's Lesbian Jewish Wiccan Wedding which is BASED ON TRUE EVENTS. Amazing. Last summer I saw that he had turned the song into a show for Fringe Festival, and low and behold Mirvish picked it up this fall. Don't you love a happy ending?

I saw it last Thursday and was fully charmed. David himself narrates the play, which is essentially the ol' girl gets divorced - moves to Toronto - becomes a lesbian - rediscovers Judaism - marries a witch story. The usual. It was light and funny and charming and smart, and also had several lovely sentimental moments that made me tear up a bit. Shut up.

Go see this musical. It will make you smile.

An actor's day on a commercial shoot.

2009-11-26T14:25:00.001-08:00

7:30am

I don't have to leave the apartment till 9am, but I need the hour and a half to wake myself up and eat something and go over my line. Yes, my one line. I do some dive bombs, mouth stretches and tongue twisters in the shower and silently chide myself for warming up as though I'm about to recite three hours of verse in iambic pentameter in front of an audience of thousands.

9:00am

I leave the house without any makeup on, knowing that if anyone asks me where I am going they'll be appalled to learn I'm about to be on camera.

10:00am

I get off the bus in Pickering and go to hail for a cab, only to realize there are no cabs to be seen and, of course, why would there be? Everyone in Pickering has a car. I find the number of a cab company and all is well, but even so I'm secretly wishing I'd had the gumption to request a pick-up and drop-off, since we weren't shooting in Toronto.

10:40am

I arrive on set and I'm early. Great! But then the thing happens that always happens on a commercial set. I'm not sure where to go. There are dozens of men (and, like, two women) walking around taking care of technical things (lights, sound, equipment) and they're really not interested in me until I'm actually on camera.

My first order of business, I know, is to get to the hair and wardrobe area where (usually) two women will clothe me and make me up...but they're always a little disappointed to see me because they're probably working on someone else and there is NEVER enough room in the wardrobe and makeup trailer for the wardrobe and makeup, let alone my whole body and my purse and clothes, and my puffy winter coat and my personality.

I successfully locate the trailer. The unique and exciting thing about this particular wardrobe and makeup trailer is that it also houses the bathrooms which we have to use, as the one inside the house at the shoot location is off-limits. The benefit is that you're working, but you also kind of feel like you're on vacation while using the airplane-esque cramped toilets. The bummer is that all the air from the bathrooms is wafting into the hair and makeup section at all times. I notice that the makeup area actually smells worse than the inside of the bathrooms themselves.

So I'm on set at 10:40am and I find the wardrobe woman and she's not ready for me so I go to the craft truck and make myself useful by eating two miniature cinnamon buns. The craft truck is crowded so I go back and sit myself down on the big makeup chair, determined to be ready when I'm needed.

11:05am

I meet the lovely woman they've flown in from Montreal to play my character in the French version of the commercial. She is blonde and skinny, just like the other two French-speaking counterparts I've had this year. I'm sure there's something to this, but I don't know what.

11:10am

Makeup Woman (MW) sits the woman from Montreal down in the makeup chair because she's decided to do her makeup first, and I notice on the call sheet that, while I was called for 11am, they're not intending to have me on set till 2:30pm, after the one-hour lunch break. I settle in for a good hour of magazine-reading (I brought two).

11:12am

A PA enters the wardrobe truck anxiously, asking, "Is Alison ready to go? We need her on set IMMEDIATELY!" to which MW replies, "No! What are you talking about?"

Turns out they're running ahead of schedule (and how!) so I'm quickly ushered into the makeup chair (I'll read those magazines later) and MW, taking the time to scold me for not plucking my eyebrows ("There's no time to do that now!"), starts furiously applying some base. She also tells me I have very thick bangs, which I know but to which I am not sure how to respond. "Thank you?" "Sorry?" I don't know. It reminds me of things I've heard from makeup people in the past: "Your skin is so weird" and, my personal favourite, "You need to wear more eyeliner or people will wonder what's wrong with you."

While MW styles my hair and paints my face, I try to behave and tilt my head when I'm asked, and sit up straight and look down when I'm supposed to look down and look up when I'm supposed to look up and don't freak out when she puts the eyelash curler on my lashes even though I'm afraid she's going to PINCH MY EYEBALLS and once the Wardrobe Woman (WW) asks me if the cardigan she's holding is the one we'd settled on at the wardrobe call and I turn to say yes and am reprimanded by MW who is in a hurry and doesn't have time for my head to be swiveling willy-nilly.

Finally the PA can't take it anymore because the guys on set have been ready for me for 10 minutes and you CAN'T KEEP THEM WAITING so I am whisked to set which is a small room with a desk and chair and computer.

11:46am

Sent back to the makeup chair for more bronzing.

11:49am

Return to set for more lighting.

11:52am

Sent back to makeup.

11:53am

Am told I need to get back on set right away.

11:59am

Sent back to makeup.

12:09pm

Back on set. Realize I don't have my mic on yet.

12:12pm

Friendly guy I recognize from Whiskas shoot puts on my mic.

12:16pm

Back to set. We're ready to shoot.

12:24pm

After several takes, the people from the ad agency decide we need to relocate the tiny bear-shaped paperweight that is being used as set dressing on the desk I'm sitting at. Eight people discuss the proper placement for the bear, and it is decided that it must be moved three inches camera left.

12:35pm

I do several takes in a row, trying to remember all my direction: don't lean in to camera too much, make sure to stop typing before speaking, look into camera before speaking, don't pause too much here, but try to pause a little bit more here, keep that vibrant energy!

1:00pm

I am wrapped for the day after a very quick and painless shoot. The only problem we encountered was my silly wardrobe that kept acting like normal clothing and moving around when I turned towards camera, necessitating a visit from the WW in between every take to add just a little bit more double-sided tape.

1:30pm

Lunch time! Yeah, I know I'm wrapped but I'm not one to turn down a free lunch. The lunch table is covered with warm, delicious catered food and a substantial dessert section, including cheesecake and huge chocolate chip cookies. Important lesson for an actor: do not treat every shoot day like Christmas. There will be more huge slabs of chocolate cake on other lunch tables at future shoots; you don't have to eat everything right now.

2:15pm

Call Pickering cab company to take me to Go Station.

2:40pm

Call Pickering cab company again to see if they've forgotten about me.

3:05pm

Am getting drizzled on and really wish the cab would arrive.

3:10pm

Call Pickering cab company again as producer of commercial walks by, wondering why I'm still there. He takes pity on me and offers me a ride downtown Toronto. I happily accept.

3:12pm

Call Pickering cab company and ask them to cancel my cab. Sense that the dispatcher is pleased he won't be hearing from me anymore.

4:00pm

I'm home and am happy after a fun day of work.

Live at the Revival (February 23rd, 2009)

2009-11-13T08:04:00.000-08:00

Hey y'all! My friend J. Sean Elliott just sent me a DVD of my opening act for his "No Refunds Tour" at the Revival last February. Here are two selections from that set: Hone My Craft and The Birthday Song.

Dear electronic interface on the treadmill at the gym.

2009-10-26T14:59:00.000-07:00

Dear electronic interface on the treadmill at the gym,

You are so fancy. I love all your flashing lights and the chart that shows what my target heartrate should be, based on my age. I also like that with the press of a button, I can customize my workout. Sometimes I want to burn fat, but sometimes I want to work on cardio, and you give me both of those options - and more!

But, electronic interface, I do have a bit of an issue to discuss with you.

When I've been jogging for 15 minutes you like to tell me, with your fancy red lights, that my workout is "25% COMPLETED". I guess you want me to know this because you're trying to encourage me to keep going, but all I want to say is, "WHO THE HELL ARE YOU TO TELL ME I HAVE TO DO THIS FOR AN HOUR?"

I mean, seriously, it's a miracle I've been on there for 15 minutes. Maybe instead you should say, "HOLY CRAP WHAT ARE YOU A FRIGGIN' OLYMPIC RUNNER?" and then I'd feel really good about myself and stay on the treadmill for another 15 minutes instead of getting off in a huff and drinking two chocolate protein shakes from Booster Juice.

Thank you for listening, electronic interface on the treadmill at the gym. I appreciate your attention to this matter.

Sincerely,

Alison Jutzi

A Four-Alarm Performance

2009-10-24T06:13:00.001-07:00

We officially opened our production of Dry Streak at the Grand last night to a full house (800 people), including the playwright, Leeann Minogue. She's a lovely woman who seemed very pleased with the positive response we've been getting. The show went by without a hitch, and the audience laughed in all the right places, not acting at all like the typical polite-and-quiet Friday night audience.

After the show, we were enjoying some drinks and food in the lobby when a gentle and continuous "ding" started sounding. It reminded me of the warning bell you hear when intermission is coming to a close and it's time to chug your coffee and shove that Haagen Dazs bar down your throat.

I ignored it until one of the staff members alerted us all to the fact that it was actually the fire alarm and we had to evacuate the building! We all made our way down the stairs to the main entrance where we huddled outside in the drizzle as four (FOUR!) fire trucks came screaming towards the theatre and a bunch of firefighters piled through the front doors.

I was spending half my time laughing at the situation with my stage managers, and the other half wondering, "Did I leave my curling iron on or something?" At one point I smelled the cigarette someone had lit nearby and thought, "Oh no, it is a real fire!"

After 20 minutes the firefighters were on their way and we were allowed back into the theatre. False alarm. I'm not sure what set it off, but I'm glad it waited until after the show. That'd be one sure-fire way to kill the momentum of a performance. Get it? Sure-fire? I didn't even mean to do that.

Well, we've started off the run with a bang and I'm sure the show will just get better as we go. Earlier this week we had some people from the press at rehearsal who were taking photos and some video. Here's a link to a video clip of the show, if you're one of those people who doesn't mind seeing a sneak-preview. And if you still need tickets, just check out the Grand Theatre website. I hope to see you in London soon.

I love my 80's hairdo.

2009-10-17T16:28:00.000-07:00

I'm in the middle of tech dress rehearsal for Dry Streak so I'm rockin' the 80's bangs. I'm really enjoying this. Perhaps a little too much.

VIDEO BLOG - My Mom is an English Teacher

2009-10-14T18:27:00.000-07:00

My newest song...

Bravery.

2009-10-06T20:34:00.000-07:00

I just read that Jim Carrey is gaining 50lbs for an upcoming role, which makes me think: when am I going to be offered a part that is conditional upon my gaining weight? I think I could do it. My diet would consist of:

- donuts

- cheese

- donuts with cheese on them

- cheese with a side of donuts

- cheese-flavoured donuts

- some more donuts

- sticks of cheese

- cubes of cheese

- Kraft single slices

- fish 'n' chips

Yeah, I could do it. Y'know why? Because I'm committed to my craft. I would gain 25lbs and then people would call me brave, just like they did with Renee Zellweger when she was playing Bridget Jones.

(Dr. Joshi, if you're reading this, please do not be alarmed. I'm just kidding. Well, not about liking donuts and cheese. That's totally true.)

Dry Streak

2009-09-28T11:04:00.000-07:00

Do people from London, Ontario spend their whole lives saying "No, Ontario actually"? I've had this conversation a lot recently:

Person I Know: So, what are you going to be doing next?

Me: I'm doing a play in London.

Person I Know: England?

Me: No, no. London, Ontario.

Person I Know: Oh.

Me: Yeah...ha ha...anyway, it should be good.

Person I Know: It would be more interesting if you were going to England.

Okay, maybe they don't say that last part. Anyway, the point is I'm heading to the Grand Theatre in London Ontario for the next six weeks to work on a play called Dry Streak. It's a comedy written by the Canadian playwright Leeann Minogue. If you'd like tickets you can visit the Grand Theatre website here.

Goodbye for now, Toronto. I'll see you in November!

Working with cats: behind the scenes.

2009-09-24T08:27:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I shot a Whiskas commercial with two American Silver Tabby Shorthairs named Monty and Mikey. They arrived from L.A. (!) with their very friendly trainers, Chrissy and David. Do you know what cats having trainers means?

Cats...can be TRAINED.

When I went to my wardrobe call on Monday I stayed for about an hour after they'd picked my outfit so I could get to know the cats and they could rehearse their moves. Chrissy would let Mikey out of his carrying case and David would say "Mikey, jump up!" and the cat would run over to me and put his paws on my lap, at which point he was rewarded with luncheon meat. We did this a few times and then moved on to their floor routines, which essentially involved them rolling on their backs and being adorable.

On the day, we shot a scene where I'm sitting on a couch and the cat jumps up on me and we cuddle, so David put chicken-flavoured baby food on my nose and we rehearsed it a few times so the cat would come directly to my nose and lick it off. When we actually did the takes I didn't have baby food on my nose so the cat just came up to my face and looked really affectionate as it tried to locate the baby food.

Illusion!

Monty and Mikey are some of the best cats I've met. Still, when they were cuddling with me it kinda felt like when I was swimming with the dolphins in Cuba: yeah, they're letting me pat their heads and dragging me with their fins and stuff, but it's only 'cause they know they'll be rewarded with a bucket of fish.

Anyhoo, it was a fun shoot and surprisingly quick, considering we were working with animals and had to shoot both the English and French versions. Funnily enough, on my way home I ran into my friend Greg who is in one of the most clever and hilarious commercials I've ever seen, which also happens to be for Whiskas. Here's hoping mine will be this good:

Crasher Kanye.

2009-09-17T09:53:00.000-07:00

Crasher squirrel meets Kanye West.

Would you like a proposal with your coffee?

2009-09-11T10:09:00.000-07:00

People in my life are getting engaged left and right these days, which reminds me of a story.

Picture it: Guelph, winter of '97. I am working my mad Barista skills at the Second Cup in Stone Road Mall, ever-fearful of my boss's watchful gaze. His motto: "If there's time to lean, there's time to clean." I have just readjusted some miniature cherry pies and oversized biscotti in the display case when a young-ish couple approaches the counter.

Me: Hi there! What can I get for you today?

Him: Two Columbians please.

Me: For here?

Him: Yes.

Me: And would you like any pastries with that? (I have to say this or TimeToLeanTimeToClean gets huffy.)

Him: Yes! We would! Two butter tarts, please. It's a special day.

I turn around to get two plates and when I look back at the counter he has presented his womanfriend with a ring and he says,

Him: Will you marry me?

Her: Wha...? Are you serious?

Me: Exactly. Is he serious? Really? Here? In line at the Second Cup? Wow. Ha. I feel honoured to be here for this. That'll be $5.45, please.

(In retrospect, I see that I might've been nice and bought their coffee and pastries for them, but I was in almost as much shock as the dude's girlfriend was.)

He pays and they sit themselves down at a table and talk quietly.

...And I'll never know what ended up happening. I got busy after that so I couldn't eavesdrop on their conversation. The tragedy! Did she finally say yes? Was she kind of expecting it or was it a total shock? Did she wonder what the eff was up with her boyfriend that he would propose marriage to her in line for coffee at the Stone Road Mall???

Yes, I know, a dramatic proposal does not a happy marriage make. But at least go to a park. Y'know? I mean, come on. The mall? Really?

I like to think that she was expecting the proposal and had asked him to do it when she least suspected it was coming, just to make the moment exciting. And, well, if that's the case then he TOTALLY SUCCEEDED. Maybe at dinner parties they regale their friends with the tale of the Second Cup proposal and she holds his hand and gazes at him lovingly as she remembers how her heart jumped when he pulled out the ring.

Or maybe she dropped him like a used Kleenex. Either way, it's a pretty good story.

Twitter.

2009-09-08T12:41:00.000-07:00

I don't understand Twitter. I don't see the point. But I also don't see the purpose in going on ad nauseum about not understanding those who "tweet", as though I'm so much better at controlling my use of electronic communication fora, what with only having 4 email accounts, MySpace, Facebook, a blog, a website, a Wikipedia page, a Facebook fanpage (and the list goes on).

Frankly, my online presence already far exceeds how present I feel in my everyday life. But isn't that the point? Aren't we all madly posting status updates and photos and random musings to assert our existence and prove to everyone how happy, popular, successful and full of life and adventure we all are? "See how good I look in that photo? Notice how the light hits my face just right? And see how I was just doing some traveling with my very attractive friends? Don't you think that's pretty worldly of me? And do you believe yet that I'm happy? Do you?? My life is great! DON'T YOU WISH YOU WERE ME???"

So I think adding a Twitter account to the mix would be going overboard.

BUT if I were on Twitter, these are the things I likely would have said during my trip to Montreal this weekend:

________________________________________________

On the train back from Montreal. No breakfast combo available at this late hour. :(
6:35 PM Sept 7 from txt

Just spent lovely afternoon with Phil's family. So much pate. Ack - how do I do accents? LOL!
3:04 PM Sept 7 from txt

Sad to leave Kristy and Matt's place. Seb is such a beautiful little boy. So happy to meet him!
11:15 AM Sept 7 from txt

My Winnipeg: good movie to watch if you want to feel like you just did a lot of drugs.
9:40 PM Sept 6 from web

Matt and Kristy put fried potatoes in their burritos. This is my new favourite thing.
7:54 PM Sept 6 from web

Tam tams and Nerd Wars at Mont-Royal make for a fun and dusty afternoon!
5:12 PM Sept 6 from web

It's fun watching Phil try to avert his eyes while Kristy breastfeeds. LOL!
1:45 PM Sept 6 from txt

Kristy is having great success with reusable diapers!
11:30 AM Sept 6 from web

Delicious Thai food tonight with Kristy, Matt, Phil and little Seb. Crispy spinach is the bomb!
11:23 PM Sept 5 from web

Had ice cream and looked at old photos at Phil's mom's house. He sure was a cutie.
6:30 PM Sept 5 from txt

Fun brunch with Radha, reminiscing about 4th Line. Ah, memories!
2:20 PM Sept 5 from txt

Blow-up mattress deflated during the night. Will have to be sure to close it properly tonight.
9:40 AM Sept 5 from web

Arrived in Montreal! Starving after trip so went to Keg! So much meat!
11:34 PM Sept 4 from web

____________________________________________________

Suffice it to say that no one is worse off for my not having a Twitter account. I'd be one of those people who posts things that are irrelevant to anyone but me. And that's probably why I don't see the point of Twitter. Those who are posting about politics and world affairs may be doing the world a service. I'll do my part and not cloud the twitterfeed with my banalities. I've got Facebook for that.

The Annex Live

2009-09-01T09:13:00.000-07:00

I'm going to be singing at The Annex Live Music and Comedy Night tomorrow evening. This venue is the former Poor Alex, which has been turned into a restaurant and performance space. You can click here to see the Facebook invite, if you're ONE OF US in the Facebook cult. If not, then I guess you're out of luck. 'Cause I mean, seriously people, who doesn't have Facebook anymore? What, you're too good to have all your contact information and embarrassing photos on a public forum for all to see? GET OVER YOURSELF.

Ahem. Anyhoo, I hope you can make it to the show. I write and sing comedic folk songs, in case I haven't mentioned that before. You can listen to a few of them on my website.

And for those of you who haven't jumped on the Facebook train (and oh, you will) here are the details:

The Annex Live
296 Brunswick Avenue, Toronto
Wednesday, September 2nd at 8:30pm
No cover.

Balls.

2009-08-19T08:57:00.000-07:00

This is a post about sports, in case you came here with other expectations.

Here is a timeline of my involvement in sports:

1983 - took gymnastics at the age of 5. i think i learned to do a somersault, but not that well.

1984 - started swimming lessons. continued for several years until they started asking me to do hard things like dive.

1986 - one summer on a T-ball team. last person to receive the "MVP" award (free fries at McDonalds). only got it because it was required that every child win at least once. never really understood the rules of the game. once tripped and fell while running home, leaving me emotionally scarred for life.

1989 - played on grade 6 volleyball team. wasn't too bad at it. highlight of my life in sports.

1990 - tried out for grade 7/8 volleyball team. realized i was WAY out of my league.

highschool - figured i'd better stick to musicals.

And that, my friends, was pretty much it...until recently. Two years ago Phil asked me to sub a few times on his ultimate frisbee team. Though I felt like a 75-year-old with emphysema while playing, I enjoyed myself and didn't feel as incompetent as I'd feared I might. This year Nicole asked me to be on her dodgeball team, Electric Tigers Dodgebrawl, and after much hemming and hawing and "wah wah wah, what if I'm not good enough?" I agreed, and have loved the experience. I've also been subbing on Phil's softball team and have been getting better at that every game.

So the lesson here, folks, is that I'm amazing at sports. No wait, the lesson is that Nicole really knows how to name a team. No wait, the REAL lesson that I REALLY wanted to share, is that now is the perfect time to take up that activity you never thought you would. Check out the Not So Pro and TSSC sites if you want to join a sports team. Or...take singing lessons if you "can't sing" and go volunteer in another country if you're "not adventurous". The best way to be the type of person you want to be, is to start acting that way. Eventually it'll just come naturally.

Well, I'm off to find some balls to play with. I suggest you do the same.

Urban Legends.

2009-08-15T12:43:00.000-07:00

Urban Legends is a show on the History Channel that dramatizes three urban legends and tells you which of the three are true at the end of the episode. This clip just shows the part of the episode that I was in, and it tells the story of a woman in England who thought she had ghosts in her house. Be afraid. Be VERY afraid.

Dear Juicer.

2009-08-14T12:56:00.000-07:00

Dear Juicer,

Do you like sitting on top of the fridge? Do you feel a little dusty and underused? I'm sorry, Juicer. It's my fault.

You see, I bought you while I was detoxing, and believed nothing could be better than a glass of carrot-ginger juice in the morning. But after two uses, I learned that the product you were putting out wasn't worth the time and effort it took to take you apart and clean you. You really are a bit of a bother, did you know that?

I can't say I'm surprised. When I bought you, I heard a little voice inside my head saying, "you know this is just going to end up gathering dust on top of the fridge, right?" but I refused to be talked down by my inner voice, and so I marched right up to the counter and purchased you: the cheapest juicer on the shelf.

And now I see you, perched sadly atop the fridge, longing to transform perfectly good vegetables into something that looks like swamp water. And I think, "Will I ever use my juicer again?"

The answer, Juicer, is a resounding yes! I refuse to be that person who buys a juicer (or a treadmill or a foot bath) and only uses it a handfull of times before banishing it to a shelf or a closet or a basement. What I need to do is make spinach-beet juice a part of my everyday life. I need to develop a morning routine that involves drinking a punch of carrots, pineapple and beets.

Oh yes, it will be done.

Leon's Commercial (fall, 2008)

2009-08-13T08:18:00.000-07:00

I remember being exhausted after this shoot because we did three spots in one day (usually it takes a whole day to do one 30 second spot).

Also...contortionists are awesome.

Boston Pizza Commercial.

2009-08-12T16:59:00.000-07:00

Hey y'all,

If you watch TSN you've probably already seen this one. This is a spot I shot earlier this summer. Watch me be SO EXCITED!!!

Dear Fitness Instructor.

2009-08-06T17:37:00.000-07:00

Dear Fitness Instructor,

You have a lot of energy. I do not have as much energy as you. How do you do it? I know that you are being paid a pittance for what I think is an important job. How do you maintain such vigour?

I like the class you teach me. The one where we do dance moves and I get a good cardio workout? It's fun, even though I am a terrible dancer and always have to choose the "beginner" options.

But, Fitness Instructor? Can I ask a favour of you?

Can you please stop asking me questions in the middle of class and requiring me to answer them loudly? Questions like, "Are you READY to ROCK?" and "ARE YOU FEELING THE BURN? I CAN'T HEAR YOU!"

I really don't like it when you ask me those questions. I'm never really that ready to rock, regardless of the situation, so I feel it would be dishonest to answer in the affirmative. And as for feeling the burn, you can just go ahead and assume that I am because I'm not an athlete and you're making me move my body a lot.

I don't know why I can't just answer you back, but I know I'm not alone. The only response you ever get is one or two people with a tiny "YEAH!" so is it really worth your asking? Frankly, it makes us uncomfortable. Maybe if we all knew each other it would be different, but we don't. We just go to the same gym.

Fitness Instructor, I hope I haven't made you feel bad. I really do like your class. I hope you like teaching it. I just want you to know that when I don't answer you back, it's not because I'm having a bad time. It's just that I want you to leave me alone and let me do my workout in peace, for the LOVE of GOD.

Sincerely,

Alison

Flashpoint Interactive.

2009-07-30T07:47:00.001-07:00

I spent yesterday on the set of Flashpoint Interactive, a new online video game based on the television show. I won't give anything away, except to say I think the lead actor is the same person who does those hilarious cereal commercials for...um...Oatmeal Raisin Crisp? Maybe? You know the guy who is always going on about how you shouldn't eat his cereal because "you wouldn't like it"? I love those commercials and wish I could locate them on YouTube.

Here are some photos from the shoot:

BOOK REVIEW - "The Believers" by Zoe Heller

2009-07-27T07:34:00.000-07:00

Since reading The Secret I've had a hard time getting my engine running in the book department. It's like it frightened me away from the written word. I'm not trying to be dramatic here; it really was that bad.

Happily, I have rediscovered my love of reading.

The Believers, written by Zoe Heller, takes place shortly after 9/11 and centres around the family of Joel and Audrey Litvinoff (he, a celebrated lawyer - a fighter for the underdog, who cares deeply for each of his clients, and she, his acerbic and passionately socialist wife).

Very early in the book Joel collapses in court, where he is meant to defend a terrorist suspect, and falls into a coma. What follows is...not what I expected.

Because of the setting of the book (New York, post 9/11) and its title, I thought the story would have the characters struggling harder with their political and religious beliefs. We do meet Rosa, the youngest of Joel and Audrey's children, who after 30 years of believing in an even more extreme socialism than her parents, decides to explore her Jewish background, much to her atheist parents' chagrin. I was never quite sure what was drawing Rosa to the Orthodox faith, but I enjoyed going on the journey with her regardless.

But the other two children (Karla, the unhappily married and unhappily overweight eldest daughter, and Lenny, the drug-addicted adopted son) make personal journeys that have only to do with relationship issues and drug addiction recovery.

As for Audrey, we forgive her her cruel and unusual way with the doctors when Joel has first fallen comatose, because we know she's grieving. As months pass, however, we learn that these first glimpses of Audrey Litvinoff have not been atypical, and that even her best friend Jean is a constant brunt of her insults, not to mention her children. Karla almost welcomes her mother's callous comments about her weight, comforting in their familiarity. I like Audrey for her honesty, but am baffled by her still being on speaking terms with all three children, and actually having a friend in Jean, ever caring and kind even in the face of Audrey's brutal attacks.

Having said all that, I loved this book. Heller's prose is some of the most clever and veracious that I've ever read. I found myself eagerly awaiting the next brilliant line, the next fully realized character. And I was never disappointed. Though I was expecting a cleverly costumed forum for Heller's political and religious beliefs, all I got was a great story with well-drawn characters, that kept me coming back for more. I was disappointed by the ending, but I think that's only because I didn't want it to end.

"solve in bed with alison"

2009-07-20T09:18:00.000-07:00

I use google web analytics to track who has been reading my blog. Never fear, stalkers, I can't tell who exactly has been to this site, but rather how many people and from what cities. I can also see what people have searched for in google that caused them to land on my blog.

Some searches are obviously related to all my talk of the Maria show:
"how can you treat a girl like Maria"
"how do you control a girl like Maria" (um...yikes)
"microphone tap tap tap is this thing on"

Several people were looking for info about Joshi's detox, like this person:
"joshi detox anyone constipated?" (Oh, dear.)

Then there is a random assortment of search terms:
"pictures of unidentified rodents" (I talked about wanting to get rats for awhile, so this makes sense)
"smilesing" (pardon?)
"birthday cards for kids and grownups" (This person so did not find what they were looking for)
dav devalle road rage (I don't think they're talking about this Dave Devall)

And then there are my favourites:
"wow-Jutzi" (Who was this person looking for? Do I have a relative who goes by the nickname "wow"?)
"in bed with alison demo" (I'm sorry, those videos aren't available yet)
"solve in bed with alison" (What do they want to solve? I'm so curious!)

So, welcome, accidental visitors. I hope you enjoy your brief stay before you press back on your browser to refine your search terms. All the best!

America's Worst Credit

2009-07-17T12:37:00.001-07:00

I came upon this today by accident. It's another version of my freecreditreport.com commercial, with an "America's Most Wanted" spin. Check it oot!

Ripper Hockey blooper reel.

2009-07-16T07:08:00.001-07:00

Remember the Ripper Hockey video I did awhile back? My friend David, the creator of the Ripper Hockey series, just sent me a blooper reel from that shoot. I was really having a hard time keeping a straight face...

How dodgeball kicked my butt.

2009-07-13T07:47:00.000-07:00

A week ago I played my first game of dodgeball. Ever. Don't ask me how I made it through elementary school gym class without it. Maybe Guelph hadn't heard of dodge ball in the 80's.

Anyhoo, it was good fun. I wasn't great, but I wasn't abysmal, and I really enjoyed myself. It was tiring, but nothing compared to the few games of ultimate frisbee I've played. Phil said "You'll be sore the day after" and I was all like, "Pshaw, whatevs. I'll be fine" and he was all like, "Okaaaaaaaaay" and I was all like, "Please pass the sea salt" (we were eating dinner).

So. I was pretty sore the day after. But I loved it. It made me feel hardcore.

But then? The day after that? OH MY GOD. The pain. The stiffness. The inability to walk across a room without groaning. And the next day? Even worse! I still kind of liked it, to be honest. To have pain caused by a sport makes me feel like a very sporty person. One might even say I have a "sports injury", which sounds very sexy.

I have now almost completely recovered from last Monday's game, just in time to play again tonight. If you see me walking funny on Wednesday, you'll know why.

Joshi's Holistic Detox - Completed!

2009-07-13T07:20:00.000-07:00

Today is my first post-detox day, but I haven't eaten any non-detox foods yet. Well, last night I had some peanut-butter chocolate ice cream, but we don't need to go into that.

I've lost a few pounds and feel healthy and energetic, and plan to continue following the detox diet to an extent, while not denying myself the odd drink or hamburger. This was certainly my favourite of the three cleanses I've done, the other two being Isagenix and the Lemonade Diet.

Habits I picked up on the detox which I plan to continue in my everyday life:

- Drink hot lemon in the morning
- Use my juicer
- Eat brown rice
- Have rice cakes as a snack
- Minimize wheat intake
- Eat an entire black forest cake

Oops, did I just write that out loud?

Ripper Hockey

2009-07-09T11:30:00.000-07:00

I recently shot a spot for my friend David Battistella's site, http://www.ripperhockey.com/. You can check out his site to see the first in his series of funny hockey videos, and here is the second one, starring me in super-sexy pyjamas:

Keener Reunion!

2009-07-09T08:52:00.001-07:00

My theatre school class (a.k.a. "The Keeners") reunited last night at Pauper's Pub. There were about 15 of us there, out of 25 people who graduated from our class 8 years ago. Some of us are married, some of us have babies, some of us own houses, some of us are still living like University students, in tiny apartments with no plants.

I sometimes wonder what University would've been like if I hadn't studied theatre. Our class was made up of 25 people who, for the most part, got along quite well and knew how to have fun. Any fellow Keeners who read this might laugh at my saying that, because I certainly wasn't one to be out at pub every night. Not a party girl, me. But I loved rehearsals. I loved class. I loved putting down the boring essay I was working on to go see the ISP's. I loved being surrounded by a large group of dynamic people, and missed them deeply after graduating.

The above photo is the class picture we took before graduation, and below are some stills from Lysistrata (starring my friend and former classmate Nicole Stamp) and my final Erindale show, All's Well That Ends Well.

Dr. Joshi answers my questions.

2009-07-07T10:00:00.000-07:00

If you are currently doing Joshi's detox, or are thinking about doing it, I would encourage you to email him (joshi@joshiclinic.co.uk) with any questions you have. He responded very quickly to mine, and seems genuinely interested in helping people through the detox. Of course, you should read his book first. It really is necessary to have it if you're going to do the detox.

Here are the questions I had for him, with his answers in caps:

1) Am I supposed to completely avoid fruit, or just minimize my intake of it? How much is too much? TRY TO AVOID FRUIT AND FRUIT SUGARS IF TRYING TO LOSE WEIGHT. TWO PIECES OF FRUIT DAILY IS GOOD.

2) If I cheat and have some decaf coffee, is that really bad? NO BUT TRY TO GET ONE THAT HAS BEEN DECAFFIENATED NATURALLY

3) Why do you specify "gluten-free oatmeal"? Isn't oatmeal normally gluten-free? NO, OATS CONTAIN GLUTEN, WHICH CAN BE VERY MUSCOUS FORMING IN THE GUT, GET A CEREAL THAT IS GLUTEN FREE ESP IF YOU HAVE CONSTIPATION AND BLOATING

4) Should I totally avoid the no-no veggies (cucumber, tomatoes etc.) or just minimize my intake? MINIMIZE, COOKED TOMATOES ARE OK

5) Is it bad to have lots of honey while on the detox? Should this just be a treat? YES, THINK OF THE CALORIES!

6) I don't think I read anything about minimizing my salt consumption...but should I be watching this? I feel like I'm eating more salt than usual. WHY ARE YOU EATING MORE SALT? PERHAPS YOU HAVE A MINERAL DEFICIENCY, TAKE ONE EMERGEN – SACHET A DAY AND SEE HOW YOU FEEL

7) Are sun-dried tomatoes as bad as regular tomatoes? NO

Joshi's Holistic Detox - Day 15

2009-07-06T06:56:00.000-07:00

Whoa.

Dr. Joshi posted a comment on my blog. That's really cool!

I have a ton of questions to ask him so I'll send him an email and hope that he has time to address them. Then I will, of course, post the answers here.

This past weekend at the cottage was much easier than I thought it would be. I wasn't nearly as tempted by the chocolate and booze and sausages as I thought I'd be. And fortunately my parents allowed me to dictate what we had for supper most nights. Saturday night we ate salmon with brown rice, asparagus and spinach salad - with tons and tons of garlic. And Sunday night we pretty much had the same thing, replacing the salmon with a lovely honey/lemon/garlic-glazed chicken.

One thing I'm quite enjoying on this detox is the hot lemon that I drink almost every morning. It's a delicious coffee substitute, and apparently does wonders for your kidneys.

On the way up to the cottage we were a little peckish so we had some hummus with carrots and rice chips. I also ate several bananas throughout the weekend, as I am wont to do.

I've definitely lost weight in the past two weeks, but I haven't had a chance to weigh myself so I'm not sure how much. My clothes are fitting more loosely and I feel lighter. It feels good! One more week...

Joshi's Holistic Detox - Day 11

2009-07-02T06:51:00.000-07:00

This is getting harder.

I'm tired of rice.

I want a chocolate bar.

I want to eat strawberries at the cottage this weekend.

There are only so many bananas a person can eat.

I cheated last night by having terriyaki sauce on my chicken and I DON'T CARE.

Hrmph.

Dora the Awarda

2009-06-30T10:23:00.000-07:00

Jian Ghomeshi hosted the Doras last night, which was a treat. He was funny and charming and a little bit bitchy, and briefly touched on the Billy Bob thing, which made the audience go nuts.

Highlights for me were Alison Sealy-Smith's cheeky speech about Albert Shultz putting A Raisin in the Sun in the Soulpepper season, Elicia winning for her work in the Sound of Music, and Marlene Smith receiving the Silver Ticket award. You can find out who all the winners were here. Agokwe, a new play by Waawaate Fobister, really cleaned up. The saddest part of the evening was realizing I'd missed most of these fabulous plays and musicals and can't now go and rent them from Blockbuster.

This was my first time at the Doras and I'm really glad I went. I saw a bunch of people I hadn't seen in awhile: friends from theatre school, former castmates and teachers, random people I sometimes see at auditions, and Derrick Chua. Always Derrick Chua.

Joshi's Holistic Detox - Day 8

2009-06-29T08:21:00.000-07:00

I had cravings for ice cream and booze yesterday.

I did not give in to them.

Tonight I'm attending the Doras where I'm sure I'll be tested by wine and cheese and a multitude of squares. Perhaps I'll hide a package of gluten-free cookies in my purse...and eat the ENTIRE THING. Maybe I'll play up the whole detox thing and throw around words like "macrobiotic" and "holistic" and then they'll think I'm so Hollywood and be very impressed.

Joshi's Holistic Detox - Day 5

2009-06-26T10:17:00.000-07:00

Food so far today:

- hot water with fresh lemon juice
- Rice Krispies with rice milk, honey and a banana
- California Classic salad from Fresh

Tonight I will have the leftover chicken I made the other night.

Last night I made fresh vegetable juice again, this time with carrots, ginger and spinach. I find that when you put a lot of carrot in there, it makes everything else much more palatable. The juicer seems to require a lot of effort to take apart and rinse out, but in reality it takes less than five minutes and I'm just being a baby if I don't use it for that reason.

I've been feeling motivated to try out new recipes, and have already made two this week: the chicken and this coconut tofu and rice. I've got a chickpea recipe in mind that I want to try this weekend. I've also discovered a good beverage option for when I'm craving something other than water. Fruity herbal tea on ice is delicious and detox-friendly.

For snacks, I've been munching on rice cakes, snow peas, bananas and the odd gluten-free cookie (sweetened with cane juice).

No problems to report so far.

The final chapter.

2009-06-25T07:26:00.000-07:00

10 Marias: 1 Year Later aired last night. I watched it anxiously, happy about some of the clips they showed, unhappy about others. Wishing they had done my hair and makeup for me (that is, after all, the best part about being on television).

Competing on How Do You Solve a Problem Like Maria? was a great challenge for me. It has undoubtedly made me a better auditioner and, against all odds, has given me a lot of confidence as a performer.

But I'm happy to have moved on. The whole theatre and television auditioning process seems far more civilized to me now, merely because there aren't five cameras on me while I'm doing it. Rejection is private and par for the course, not tragic and public. And best of all, no casting director has ever asked me to sing anything by Chaka Khan. (Insert smiley-face emoticon to denote tongue-in-cheek tone)

Thank you, CBC and Mirvish and Temple Street and, of course, Andrew Lloyd Webber. We had some good times. And now I bid you adieu.

Joshi's Holistic Detox - Day 3

2009-06-24T08:15:00.000-07:00

I've been eating Rice Krispies with rice milk and honey every morning. Turns out the second ingredient in Rice Krispies is sugar, but who am I to be militant? Last year when I did the Isagenix cleanse I ate a Peanut Buster Parfait on one of my "fast" days. That's just how I roll. Today I brought a can of bean soup for lunch, but have noticed that it's actually bean WITH BACON so I will not be eating that. Even I can't convince myself that bacon is an acceptable detox food.

Yesterday I ate a tofu and rice curry for lunch, and a California Classic salad from Fresh for dinner. I slept deeply and was so zonked I could hardly get up this morning, but I think that's because I was out in the sun too long yesterday afternoon. Tonight I'm making chicken and vegetables, with fresh veggie juice as an appetizer - made with my first-ever juicer. It's a great way to get lots of veggies into your system very quickly. So far I've experimented with carrots, ginger and beets.

So, yeah. I'm super healthy. So there.

Guelph Mercury interview.

2009-06-23T04:16:00.000-07:00

Here's another interview about the Maria documentary from the Guelph Mercury. One thing to note: I didn't just release an album - I recorded my songs about two years ago, but I think someone at the Maria camp thinks I just did it, so I keep seeing references to it. Meh. That's okay. If people want to think I just released an album, I suppose I can let them. It ups my cool factor.

Joshi's Holistic Detox - Day 1

2009-06-22T10:37:00.001-07:00

I am on my first day of Joshi's Holistic Detox, a cleanse developed by Nish Joshi, a specialist in holistic healthcare. This detox requires that you cut the following foods out of your diet:

1) Red meat
2) Caffeine
3) Wheat
4) Fruit (except bananas)
5) Refined sugar
6) Most dairy products
7) Alcohol

I figure the first three shouldn't pose a problem, though I do like me some baked goods. I will miss my Tim Horton's steeped tea and Cobb's cinnamon scones. And cheese. And fruit. And chocolate.

HELP ME!

Just kidding, I'm not bailing on it yet. It's only been 5 hours. And there's no way this cleanse can be as difficult to maintain as this one was. I think I can make it the full 21-days. Updates to follow...

GUEST POST - Janna Polzin

2009-06-20T06:19:00.000-07:00

Janna was my roommate in the Maria mansion, and is now the alternate Maria for the Sound of Music, performing Wednesday nights and Saturday afternoons. I invite you to stalk her here.

If I had to choose one thing to eat for the rest of my life, I always used to say Rice Crispy Squares. But then I think about it, and realize that I might just start to hate them. But then I think about it some more, and I realize that when those babies are warm and marshmallowy it must be what heaven tastes like.

I could go for some basic fresh bread and butter.

But I'd need some chocolate in my life too. Preferably a Caramilk of some sort. And then chips, cause they balance the choco out. Miss Vicky's Salt and Vinegar? Or, as I'm sure Kyla will agree, Sweet Chili Heat.

Enough product placement.

Clearly I can't answer this question.

Globe and Mail interview.

2009-06-19T09:37:00.000-07:00

The Maria documentary is fast approaching (next Wednesday, June 24th at 9pm on CBC) so I've been doing some interviews. Here's one from the Globe and Mail.

Heavy doors.

2009-06-18T19:06:00.000-07:00

My major pet peeves are as follows:

1) People throwing garbage out of car windows;
2) Being guilt-tripped in a supposedly joking manner that doesn't sound very funny at all;
3) Heavy doors.

Yes, heavy doors. Why do I hate them so much? And I do hate them.

Y'know what I'm talking about? Those doors that weigh, like, 300 lbs for no apparent reason? And you go to open them and nearly wrench your shoulder because you predict the door will be a normal door, but when you pull it you only get it about halfway open and then it hits you in the side as you try to squeeze through? Yeah. I hate those things.

I am sure they have a purpose. Perhaps they are fire doors? Yes, probably. (I'd like to apologize to the many fire fighters who read my blog and who are currently shaking their heads at my ignorance. "Of course they're fire doors," they're thinking. "Why must you torture us with your stupidity?")

But fire doors or not, they make me cranky. I like to project any latent anger that has built up during my day onto these inanimate objects, as though they are somehow to blame. "Curse you, door! Why must you make my life more difficult?"

It's a cheap form of therapy, I suppose.

How can you not love this face?

2009-06-15T08:00:00.000-07:00

I love these new photos of my niece Eden that my brother Dave just posted. So much personality, and just over a month old!

Carol Burnett answers your (dumb) questions.

2009-06-14T06:21:00.000-07:00

I saw Laughter and Reflection with Carol Burnett at Massey Hall on Friday night. It was an honour and a joy to see her live, candidly answering anything the audience threw at her. Other than a few clips from The Carol Burnett Show, Friday's show consisted solely of a question and answer period. I have mixed feelings about this format. The quality of the show is largely dependant upon the quality of the questions, and there were definitely some time-wasters. Luckily, Carol was usually able to spin dead questions into relevant answers.

Almost everyone started their question with "My family and I? We're all really big fans? And we just want you to know? That we watched your show every week and we think you're really great. Thank you so much for being here tonight." Which is all nice and fine and everything, but I'll bet that Carol already knows that you're a fan because you bought a ticket to see her tonight, so you can probably just get to your question.

And then sometimes - quite often, actually - the question was either "Can I get your autograph after the show?" or "Can I come up on stage to give you a hug?" to which Carol would politely say, "Oh, honey, I wish there were some stairs here so you could come up, but..."

Thank goodness there were no stairs.

I wanted to ask her, "What would you say is the number one thing you need to accomplish to make a sketch work?" but I wasn't surprised that they never got around to me. There were so many people there and everyone was desperate to ask their question.

One of my favourite stories Carol told was about re-shooting a scene from Annie, after she had had chin surgery. The director wanted to re-do one of the musical numbers, taking it from when Carol had gone into a closet (when they'd filmed it months earlier), and picking it up when she came out of the closet, to which Carol predictably offered, "But when I went into the closet two months ago, I had no chin...and now, I have a chin, so..." And the director, John Houston, gave her the best direction of her life: "Well, just come out looking determined."

Fantastic.

You can see Carol's interview on The Hour here. She talks about the chin story, it's great.

It was a lovely evening at the theatre. Since returning from New York I've decided I want to start to take advantage of all the wonderful theatre we have right here in Toronto. Speaking of which, I'm FINALLY going to see Janna play Maria in The Sound of Music on Saturday. Can't wait!

When you say "under the seat in front of you" you mean "wherever I want to put it", right?

2009-06-11T12:37:00.000-07:00

This article, written by an anonymous flight attendant, lists 7 ways to be an annoying airplane passenger. My favourite is #6:

Act like you don't know the meaning of "under the seat in front of you."

I am guilty of taking this directive, which is given on every flight and is very simply stated, to mean "We don't really care where you put your purse, we just have to say this because it's in the rule book."

Turns out they really do care. They really want you to put your carry-on luggage that you haven't stored above (because you know it's just going to be a pain later when you have to ask the guy next to you to please move so you can get your chapstick) under the seat in front of you. Why am I, someone who is otherwise pretty good at taking direction, one of the culprits of this blatant disregard for safety?

I always always put my huge purse right in between my feet, which are NOT under the seat in front of me. Why can't I take this simple direction? Why must I wait until one of the attendants notices and shames me into correcting my mistake?

Hrm.

Upon consideration, I've decided that it's because upon entering an airport we are stripped of our independence - we have to answer to authority figures and we can't argue with them or we'll be sent to our rooms - or, well, we won't get on the plane. And so we revert back to childlike tendencies of not only waiting for direction, but knowingly breaking the rules (in little ways, so as not to get kicked off the flight) because we figure if it's really that important the flight attendant will tell us so. The mom isn't just going to tell the 3-year-old not to play in traffic; she's going to hold his hand tightly as they cross the street. We are that three-year-old, waiting for the flight attendant to hold our hand.

But maybe, as the writer of the article implies, that's asking a bit much of the flight crew. They're not there to give us diapers for our babies, or to lift our heavy luggage into the overhead compartment. They're there to serve us food and beverages, direct us to the washrooms, hand out customs cards and, most importantly, keep us safe.

So let's put our damn bags under the seat in front of us already.

Dance, everybody. Dance tonight.

2009-06-09T06:51:00.001-07:00

Here are some photos of me that my mom recently scanned. In the first one I'm wearing my costume for "Clowns", my grade 5 musical in which I played Leah Ballerina. I remember being really nervous that I'd have to wear a skimpy little tutu, but thankfully my mom made me this adorable costume. You can't tell from the photo, but it was less a tutu and more a full skirt. Phew, says 10-year-old Alison.

I still remember the lyrics to the solo I sang:

The flowers in the garden will dance tonight, it's easy being happy in the moonlight.
Today they were soakin' up the sun and rain, and now it's time to dance again.
Dance, everybody, kick up your heels. Dance, everybody, see how it feels.
To step to the left and step to the right, turn yourself around as you dance all night.
Dance, everybody, dance tonight.

This photo shows me playing the violin, which I gave up at the ripe old age of 8 in order to focus on the piano.

And here I am playing the piano. Do not be fooled by the smile on my face; getting me to practice must have been akin to pulling teeth. Thanks, mom! Hey, I really am thanking you later, just like you said I would.

The Maria Documentary.

2009-06-02T06:40:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago I got a call from Temple Street Productions inquiring about my availability. Strange, I thought. Why would the producers of How Do You Solve a Problem Like Maria? be looking for me? Did they want my banner back? Were they going to ask me to star in a Canadian version of the Bachelorette? I didn't know.

It turns out they were trying to get all of the Marias together to shoot a documentary about our experience on the show, and to find out "if there's life after reality t.v.". I told them that yes, I felt very much alive, and would be happy to join them.

I was excited to see all the girls, but felt some trepidation leading up to the shoot. There were questions I knew I'd be asked on camera ("How did you feel about your microphone not working? What was it like being the first one voted off?") that I wasn't looking forward to answering, mostly because I wasn't sure what I'd say.

I was only available for part of the 2-day shoot, which was true for many of the girls. I was still in New York City the first day, but Temple Street had a car waiting for me at the airport that evening and took me directly to the CBC. The second day I had to leave halfway through the morning to attend a callback for the Grand Theatre. I booked that show, by the way! You can check it out here.

Still, they were able to get the 10 of us together on the morning of the second day. As we sat in vans outside Maria School (which is really Graydon Hall in North York), waiting for the camera guys to set up, it was almost as if no time had passed since March, 2008 when we were 10 of 50 hopefuls, arriving for the first day of "school" and giddy with anticipation of whatever lay ahead. That was back when we had no idea we'd be flying to London to perform for Andrew Lloyd Webber. Or that we'd be singing on the hills in Salzburg the following May.

It was fun sharing memories with the other girls. We laughed (while crying on the inside) as we remembered our week one wardrobe. We cried (while crying on the inside) about some of the song choices, once again trying to make it clear to the public that WE DIDN'T CHOOSE OUR SONGS. David Connolly, our live-show choreographer, chatted with us at one point. It was great to see him! He's currently working on a production of High School Musical in Halifax, which Donna is in. Sadly I missed Gavin's visit, and Elaine's.

My favourite part of the whole experience was sitting on a rooftop patio drinking sangria with Janna, Elicia, Katie and Kyla. GOOD TIMES. It was warm and sunny and we were full of fruity wine punch. This took place right before our personal on-camera interviews, so please do take that into account when you watch the documentary.

All in all, it was a pleasant experience. But now? I think it's over. Right? Like, we're not going to do another documentary a year from now about the documentary we just did? The Maria Documentary Documentary: is there life after documentary shows about reality shows?" No, I don't think they'll do that.

The one hour special airs at 9pm on June 24th on CBC. You can click here for more details.

Badvertising.

2009-06-01T06:16:00.001-07:00

When I saw the Diamond Shreddies print ad last year I was so impressed with its simplistic brilliance that I had to phone a friend and tell him about it. I love seeing companies use humour and intelligence in their marketing, to the point that I will go out of my way to purchase their product.

Conversely, when I see badvertising it makes me angry and upset and committed to boycotting the offending company. And don't tell me I should be blaming the ad agency that the company hired to do their advertising. You know when it comes down to it Bell said yes to those ridiculous "er" ads and that the CEO of Koodo gave the go-ahead for those creepy cartoon people.

I'm boycotting the movie The Hangover, not just because the trailer makes it look painfully unfunny, but because of print ads like this:

This is a perfect example of badvertising. We have a picture of a man who we know, because of the title of the movie, has woken up the night after getting really drunk only to find that he is missing a tooth. Having dumb stuff happen to you while drunk is neither funny nor original, so I'm already bored. Then, and this is what really killed this print ad for me, they write Am I missing a tooth? below the picture. Really? Did I need you to write that? Now I'm offended because you clearly think I'm stupid. I'm standing in a stuffy subway car, surrounded by sweaty, angry people and the last thing I need is to be insulted by your ad.

If we must endure this constant inundation of advertising in our lives, I demand of it one of three things:

1) I am made to laugh;

2) I am made to feel clever;

3) I am made to care.

If you're not going to accomplish any of those things, I'm not going to buy your product. Even if I have to live on nothing but Shreddies for the rest of my life.

Yes, that's me in the dorky red helmet.

2009-05-25T12:39:00.000-07:00

I'm cycling* again after a six-month hiatus. Why all the time off? Well, I'm what one might call "careful" or "precious" or "scared of ice, snow, and temperatures lower than +10". Now that it's sunny and warm I have enjoyed several long-ish trips across town. I recently took my Canadian Tire Supercycle in for a tune-up and ended up spending more than I did to buy the bike in the first place. Ridiculous? Yes. But far less expensive than owning a car.

And the great thing about cycling is that you can get all the road rage you do as a car owner, with fewer costs. In fact, I think I'm angrier on my bike than I am behind a wheel. When you're coasting down Yonge Street, the wind in your hair, the sun on your shoulders, the sanctimonious feeling you get from knowing you have made the right choice for the environment gives you free license to hate all surrounding drivers, especially the ones who barely miss your elbow as they fly by.

I feel like a true Torontonian on my bike. One time I even tore a strip off a cab driver when he tried to cut me off. I barely recognized my own voice as I berated him loudly and with passion. That was the day I knew I was no longer just a visitor here.

* what serious people call "biking".

Eden Ruth Jutzi

2009-05-19T10:18:00.000-07:00

Unfortunately my brother Dave and his wife Melissa weren't able to join us at the cottage this past weekend, but I did get to meet their new daughter Eden when I was home in Guelph briefly on Thursday. I had gone home to see my mom in Little Women with Guelph Little Theatre. The show was lovely, by the way.

Here are some photos of Eden with her mom, dad and me:

VIDEO BLOG - The Lemonade Diet

2009-05-13T22:12:00.001-07:00

It's a girl!

2009-05-11T08:34:00.000-07:00

I've just returned from a trip to NYC, but I'll post about that later because I have even better, more exciting news: my brother Dave and his wife Melissa have a new baby girl named Eden Ruth Jutzi, born on May 4th (8lbs, 12oz)! I haven't had a chance to meet her yet, but I'll be spending the long weekend up at the cottage with them so I'll get lots of baby time then. Congrats and lots of love to Dave and Mel!

FreeCreditReport.com commercial.

2009-05-03T15:56:00.000-07:00

I shot this way back in January, but they just started airing it this month. I was so happy to book this because I thought the concept was quite funny, and I think they did a great job of it.

Want an audition? Book a trip!

2009-04-30T06:22:00.000-07:00

Last year I was supposed to be in Cuba for two weeks, but had to come back early because the Maria callbacks fell in the second week. This year I booked a trip to New York City from May 3rd-10th, but have just found out I have a callback I don't want to miss on the 4th.

Changing travel plans can be tricky, but it's nice to know that if I'm having a slow year I have only to book a trip and suddenly I will be popular.

I'm down to the last three days of my Smile tour of Extraordinary. What a rewarding and unique experience. Yesterday we performed in a real theatre and were so giddy about it you'd think we'd never performed on a stage before. Usually, because we travel to seniors' residences, we perform in small rooms that aren't designed to house theatre . But that is part of the charm of the Smile experience: every venue is different and you never know what to expect. That said, it was nice to perform on the beautiful stage at the Algonquin Theatre in Huntsville yesterday. I also enjoyed my post-show Bacio gelato. Anything that involves chocolate, nuts and ice cream is okay by me.

CBC Radio 3 Interview

2009-04-27T06:26:00.000-07:00

Alexis Stoymenoff at CBC Radio 3 just did a piece on comedic music, and I was one of the people she interviewed. Check it out here.

She also spoke with Chelsea Manders (formerly of the Black Roses, now of Charity and Chastity), BillyReid, The Wet Spots and Picnicface. I come in during the last few minutes of the 10-minute interview, and then she finishes off by playing my song, Social Utility.

Oh, also? I was high on Robaxacet with Codeine because of a neck injury, so I'm speaking sllloower than usual. It makes me sound cooler, I think. More musician-y.

Let's hear it for Dave Devall!

2009-04-24T13:23:00.001-07:00

I remember Dave Devall from way back a million years ago in the 80's when my mom was on the Canadian gameshow Definition. I was starstruck when I saw the announcer, whom I recognized as the weather guy from CTV. When I came to see a taping of the show, I couldn't believe that we got to eat in the same cafeteria as he and Jim Perry (the host) did.

That's why it was a full-circle experience for me to act in a few CTV spots that led up to his retirement this past winter. He's been doing the weather on CTV since 1961! That is a lot of weather.

So, here are a couple of the "weather support group" spots I was in. There are others, but these are the ones I'm featured in and, well, this is my blog. So.

Timing is everything.

2009-04-18T19:47:00.000-07:00

I wrenched my neck the other day so I'm currently taking Robaxacet with codeine. While drugged up, Phil showed me this:

I cried, I was laughing so hard. Watching it again now, I still find it very funny. It's all in the timing...

Susan Boyle...is it okay that I don't get what the big deal is?

2009-04-17T06:31:00.000-07:00

Have you seen this? It's a video of Susan Boyle, a 47-year-old woman who sang I Dreamed a Dream the other night on Britain's Got Talent. She has a nice voice. That's it. But everyone freaked out when she started singing for some reason.

I don't get it. Why were they surprised that she could sing?

Was it because she's not movie-star attractive? Was it because she's 47 and never been married? Or was it because Britain's Got Talent was just trying to recreate a Paul Potts moment?

It seemed contrived to me. And insulting. Susan Boyle seems like a lovely woman, and I wish all the best for her. She said in her intro that she was unemployed, and hopefully her exposure on the show will have changed that.

But I'm still scratching my head about this one. I'd love to hear your comments.