Phone calls

I hate conversing on a cell phone, so I got some bluetooth headphones (the earmuff kind, not the stick-it-in-your-earhole kind) with a built-in mic, and now phone calls are much more enjoyable.

So enjoyable, in fact, that I am CALLING PEOPLE ON THE PHONE FOR FUN which is a thing I haven't done much in recent years. I'm learning that I need to begin these conversations with, "Everything is okay, no one has died, I'm literally just calling because I like you."

Social media is becoming a bigger heap of white nationalist garbage each day, but I think we all needed it to transparently suck so that we could finally move on. Instead of scrolling, the first thing I check on my phone in the morning is what new podcasts have been released. I'm also starting to follow more newsletters of specific people who share thoughtful content. There is nothing to be gained from being inundated with hate by people who feed off our shock.

So, I'm pretty pumped for connecting more deeply with those in my inner circle and continuing to read and listen to smart people who give me a better understanding of the world, including local context. Spending time in these spaces motivates me to take action in impactful ways.

I think finding real community by truly connecting with friends, family and like-minded humans, instead of being tricked into thinking we're connecting by following each other on social media, is one of the most impactful things we can do. It's our lack of this community that makes us susceptible to the influence of conspiracy theorists and an us/them mentality. Don't underestimate the feeling of community your delulu high school friend is finding in alt-right and "wellness" spaces. 

What I'm saying is start an a cappella group, call your friends, and listen to Vibe Check pod. There, I fixed everything. 

New Year, New Garden

 My first thought of the new year was, "TIME TO START THE GARDEN" which is cute because no, it's not. I can't plant outside till the middle of May. HOWEVER I did start winter sowing last year and will do so again this year. It's a fabulous way to start seedlings outside in January or February. Essentially, you plant in plastic containers that are open at the top so moisture can get in. They act like little greenhouses. I want to cover my property in flowers this year so I harvested a bunch of seeds from some of my favourites (natives like cardinal flower, bee balm, dense blazing star and non-natives like zinnias) and I'll winter sow a bunch so I have seedlings that are ready to go in the ground in May. 

Oh goodness, of course I'll show you some pictures of last year's garden. Thank you for asking!

I am 46 years old.

In 2008 I was on a CBC talent search competition called, "How Do You Solve a Problem Like Maria?" An old theatre school classmate made me a Wikipedia page at the time because of how famous I was*. She put my birth year as 10 years later than it actually is (1988 instead of 1978) because she didn't want people to know how old she was and figured they'd deduce her age by her association with me. It was bizarre to me, but kinda funny, and I left it there (mostly because I didn't know how to make Wikipedia edits). 

Anyway, I don't have a Wikipedia page anymore and I am now 46 (in Wikipedia years that's 36). Aside from some weird perimenopause symptoms, like hating bras and stupid questions, I feel very into myself at this age. I am comfortable in my body and have confidence in my opinions. It's a work-in-progress, but I'm truly learning what I authentically want and feel without being swayed by all my early life training in compliance. 

It's feckin' great. 

Tell people how old you are if you want. It's fine. Also eat some cookies.

*not even a little bit famous

On not looking at myself in the mirror at the gym.

I started going to the gym again, motivated partially by a new personal wellness benefit at work (bless). Because I'm older and because I've done a lot of work at breaking down my relationship with my body and not being so concerned with the male gaze, and having a healthier relationship with food, I feel SO. FREE. in my Body Pump class because I DO NOT LOOK AT MYSELF IN THE MIRROR or, when I do, it's not with any sort of judgement. Also missing is counting calories. To be at the gym purely to gain strength and mobility, maintain mental health, and straight up feel good is a joy. And it took time to get here. 

I love it here. 

It's the best. 

Highlights of 2023

• Hokay, so the two successful surgeries Dad had need to be at the top of the list. He's currently recovering from the second one, but all is well and it's a big relief. 
• Our family trip to Victoria to visit with Tante Christine, Uncle Bob and Caleb was fabulous. We even got to see Jess, Rowyn and Devery!
• Starting meds for anxiety has changed my life. Weird how I (a tiny bit) miss the motivation shame, hyper-vigilance and utter dread gave me, but now I'm just motivated by actually, like, enjoying life? Which is great? 
• While Phil and I didn't get away just us this year, we do have a very busy January planned for us with two nights away just the two of us, and a Milk Carton Kids concert. The funs!
• I started a women's a cappella group this year! We're named Diva Forte. Look for us in 2024. I have so enjoyed my time with Jen, Erin and Anna, singing in harmony and laughing lots and definitely drinking some wine.
• Speaking of fun friend groups, I love my gals in my Mom Squad and of course, always and forever, House 2. I also have had such special times with Kate this year, often with our boys but sometimes just us, and I got to visit with Siobhan too, who was home from Senegal. Next week I get to have dins with Kristy. 
• Omg Felix got into the school play! He'll be playing Phinneous Trout in Wonka Junior this spring.
• Rem played in the volleyball tournament again this year, and he rocked it. He's a real asset to his team.
• Both boys got to rock out at the spring concert that their fab guitar/bass teacher held, and Rem got to rock out again at the fall one (Flix got the 'vid unfortunately).
• Speaking of the 'vid, all four of us got flu and Covid shots this morning. BAM!
• Robin and I got to have lots of fun trips to Windsor to visit Jennifer and Shelina. Windsor is my fun getaway spot and I'm not mad about it.
• Speaking of Essex (is Point Pelee in Essex? anyway) Kate and I and the boys had a weekend in an Otentik in Point Pelee. Lots of bugs but lovely weather and such fun swimming in the ocean. Kate and Rhys introduced us to Telestrations which I think is now officially my favourite game.
• I love my job at MEDA!
• Sheldon is a highlight of every day. The sweetest muffin of a dawg who is happy to see us always.
• I read a lot of books this year. My meds make focusing easier in some ways? So I get distracted while reading less. I guess it's the lack of hyper-vigilance really. Doppelganger by Naomi Klein is a must-read. Also enjoyed Little Monsters, I'll Show Myself Out, How to Keep House While Drowning, both of Aubrey Gordon's books and Fireworks Every Night. In the middle of the excellent Rehearsals for Living. 
• We got to have some fun cottage times with family this year. Not this Christmas, because it's just super wet and would be a whole lotta just trying to get the dawg from tracking mud on the carpet.
• Mom has been taking care of Dad like a champ and of course keeping us well-fed with treats year-round, and mostly on our birthdays (she always takes requests).
• There's definitely more stuff but I'm gonna go to the library before it closes okay byeee