Alison Jutzi Talks Amongst Herself

Do people from London, Ontario spend their whole lives saying "No, Ontario actually"? I've had this conversation a lot recently: Person I Know: So, what are you going to be doing next? Me: I'm doing a play in London. Person I Know: England? Me: No, no. London, Ontario. Person I Know: Oh. Me : Yeah...ha ha...anyway, it should be good. Person I Know: It would be more interesting if you were going to England. Okay, maybe they don't say that last part. Anyway, the point is I'm heading to the Grand Theatre in London Ontario for the next six weeks to work on a play called Dry Streak . It's a comedy written by the Canadian playwright Leeann Minogue. If you'd like tickets you can visit the Grand Theatre website here . Goodbye for now, Toronto. I'll see you in November!

Yesterday I shot a Whiskas commercial with two American Silver Tabby Shorthairs named Monty and Mikey. They arrived from L.A. (!) with their very friendly trainers, Chrissy and David. Do you know what cats having trainers means? Cats...can be TRAINED. When I went to my wardrobe call on Monday I stayed for about an hour after they'd picked my outfit so I could get to know the cats and they could rehearse their moves. Chrissy would let Mikey out of his carrying case and David would say "Mikey, jump up!" and the cat would run over to me and put his paws on my lap, at which point he was rewarded with luncheon meat. We did this a few times and then moved on to their floor routines, which essentially involved them rolling on their backs and being adorable. On the day, we shot a scene where I'm sitting on a couch and the cat jumps up on me and we cuddle, so David put chicken-flavoured baby food on my nose and we rehearsed it a few times so the cat would come directly to my ...

Crasher squirrel meets Kanye West.

People in my life are getting engaged left and right these days, which reminds me of a story. Picture it: Guelph, winter of '97. I am working my mad Barista skills at the Second Cup in Stone Road Mall, ever-fearful of my boss's watchful gaze. His motto: "If there's time to lean, there's time to clean." I have just readjusted some miniature cherry pies and oversized biscotti in the display case when a young-ish couple approaches the counter. Me: Hi there! What can I get for you today? Him: Two Columbians please. Me: For here? Him: Yes. Me: And would you like any pastries with that? (I have to say this or TimeToLeanTimeToClean gets huffy.) Him: Yes! We would! Two butter tarts, please. It's a special day. I turn around to get two plates and when I look back at the counter he has presented his womanfriend with a ring and he says, Him: Will you marry me? Her: Wha...? Are you serious? Me: Exactly. Is he serious? Really? Here? In line at the Second Cup? ...

I don't understand Twitter . I don't see the point. But I also don't see the purpose in going on ad nauseum about not understanding those who "tweet", as though I'm so much better at controlling my use of electronic communication fora, what with only having 4 email accounts, MySpace, Facebook, a blog, a website, a Wikipedia page, a Facebook fanpage (and the list goes on). Frankly, my online presence already far exceeds how present I feel in my everyday life. But isn't that the point? Aren't we all madly posting status updates and photos and random musings to assert our existence and prove to everyone how happy, popular, successful and full of life and adventure we all are? "See how good I look in that photo? Notice how the light hits my face just right ? And see how I was just doing some traveling with my very attractive friends? Don't you think that's pretty worldly of me? And do you believe yet that I'm happy? Do you?? My life is g...

I'm going to be singing at The Annex Live Music and Comedy Night tomorrow evening. This venue is the former Poor Alex, which has been turned into a restaurant and performance space. You can click here to see the Facebook invite, if you're ONE OF US in the Facebook cult. If not, then I guess you're out of luck. 'Cause I mean, seriously people, who doesn't have Facebook anymore? What, you're too good to have all your contact information and embarrassing photos on a public forum for all to see? GET OVER YOURSELF. Ahem. Anyhoo, I hope you can make it to the show. I write and sing comedic folk songs, in case I haven't mentioned that before. You can listen to a few of them on my website. And for those of you who haven't jumped on the Facebook train (and oh, you will) here are the details: The Annex Live 296 Brunswick Avenue, Toronto Wednesday, September 2nd at 8:30pm No cover.