Alison Jutzi Talks Amongst Herself

Dear Alison of the Future, So, you've decided to get pregnant again. Or maybe like the first time around, it wasn't so much a decision as a pleasant surprise. Mazel tov! I am currently enjoying my 32nd week of my first pregnancy, and I thought I'd write you a letter of advice to help you through the next 40 weeks or so, in case you've forgotten what pregnancy is like.  No need to thank me.  I'm really doing this more for me than for you. Enjoy. 1. BUY TUMS IMMEDIATELY Don't have heartburn? You will. Keep them by your bedside; in your purse; stuffed in your bra. Eat them three at a time. Buy the special "Smoothies" version, because you deserve it! Which brings me to my next point... 2. YOU DESERVE EVERYTHING! Don't forget to use the pregnancy card all the time . You can't drink, you feel fat, you have to do a 5 point turn to get out of bed in the morning, so for goodness sake take advantage where you can. "Wou...

Okay. So my pregnancy has been pretty good so far.  Some light nausea in the first trimester, along with some major fatigue, followed by a second trimester burst of energy and glowiness, mixed with some heart burn, leg cramps and achy muscles, and now onto my final trimester, which is certain to feel longer than just 10 weeks.  I can just tell.   I was out shopping today and kept bumping into things.  I felt off-balance and tired, and whenever I caught sight of my reflection I thought, "That lady does NOT look happy." I went home and passed out for three hours.  Oh, what a delicious nap! Whenever I do this I try not to listen to that nagging voice in the back of my head that says, "Naps won't be an option when you're pregnant next time and have a toddler underfoot!" My inner voice can be a real pill. The good news is, I went to the gym today. And I'm still sleeping relatively well, save for those times I just really need toast at 4am and tho...

I had read in more than one pregnancy book that some women get nervous during that period of pregnancy in the early 2nd trimester when symptoms start disappearing, but the baby hasn't started kicking yet. It can start to feel like you're not pregnant when you lose the nausea and the fatigue, and all the proof you have left is that your pants don't fit. I knew that when this happened to me, I'd expect it and therefore wouldn't worry. But I'm an almost-mom now, so of course I did worry. I felt weirdly normal for awhile there. Sure, my tummy was getting bigger - but was it really? Or was I just imagining it? And why wasn't I exhausted? And how could I know if everything was okay? I started feeling anxious. I wanted proof. And just in time, at my 20th week, it became clear that those slight movements in my stomach that I'd chalked up to normal tummy rumblings were indeed Fetus Jutzivan making itself known. I wouldn't describe it as butterflies or popco...

Just wanna get that out there. Because this post is going to be about pregnancy, and I don't want everyone to get all excited like when I posted a link to this hilarious Hairpin article about delivering a baby, and subsequently caused a bit of a stir. I want to talk about those people who comment on Facebook statuses of pregnant women, warning them how crappy their life is about to get. You know the kind. And if you don't, here are some examples: Preggers: "I had the best sleep last night. 9 hours!" Negative Nelly: "Enjoy your sleep now because you won't be getting any when the baby comes lol!" Preggers: "What a wonderful first anniversary with the love of my life: Steak and ice cream, and a lovely moonlit stroll on the beach...it really doesn't get better than this." Debbie Downer : "Don't get used to it, once the baby comes you won't get any alone time lol!" Preggers: "Loved having a girls...