Alison Jutzi Talks Amongst Herself

How to change your life in twenty  easy difficult, heart-wrenching, exciting, terrifying, thrilling  steps. 1. Decide you want to buy a house in Toronto, then lose five bidding wars on tiny houses in mediocre neighbourhoods - and lose those bidding wars spectacularly, by $70,000.00 and more, except for that last one where you actually had the highest bid but didn't want to agree to some crazy last-minute clause that you weren't allowed to consult a lawyer on because you needed to make the decision right then and there (This is called coercion, law students!). 2. Lose your job...well, not your job, your husband's job...well, not that you lost it for him, but he lost it and even then, he didn't really lose it, it just ceased to exist while he was on parental leave, so there you have it. No more house-hunting. It wasn't your acting income that got you your mortgage pre-approval. 3. Take online courses towards your Law Clerk certification through ILCO  because ...

I can't say I wasn't warned. Everyone told me to  sleep while I could in preparation for parenthood. And I thought I had slept enough. I diligently stayed in bed an additional hour whenever I could and stored the extra sleep in Mason jars in our bedroom closet. But, guys? I ran out. I didn't think I'd need this much. Felix isn't the expert sleeper Remy was (and I say was because Remy, the sleep-through-the-night-at-five-months baby, magically transformed into a Crappy McNosleeps about six months ago) so it's been awhile since I went to sleep on one day and woke up at least six hours into the next one.  Sometimes I daydream of this past July when I went away with friends for two nights in a row and I slept in until 8am each morning! 8am!!! And this Tina Fey line from Date Night , in response to Steve Carrell's character asking if she ever fantasizes about other men, really resonates with me now: "if anything, I fantasize about being a...

Today is the due date for our bundle of joy, but I don't know that he got the memo.  I wouldn't be surprised if this pregnancy ended in an induction, like my first one did.  Not to brag, but I'm pretty sure I have a super comfy uterus. This is how pregnancy number two has gone: Week 5 - Week 20 Tried to ignore it as much as possible in order to save my energy for the final and what I know to be long months. Week 20-30 Emotional roller coaster. Crazy mood swings and crying jags. Not fun. Dreamt of red wine. Weeks 31-40 Happily much more emotionally stable.  Felt resigned. Just trying to stay low to the ground and get through it. ...so I wrote the above on January 6th and never posted it. Then on the 8th I had a baby so I've been pretty busy with that. Felix Collin Jutzi Sullivan (or Flixster, as I like to call him) was born rather quickly on the evening of Wednesday, January 8th, 2014. The second epidural of my life was lovely, thank you, and t...

In case anyone needs Christmas gift ideas for Remy, I had him compile a list of his most-desired items: A box of Kleenex Mommy's cosmetics case Daddy's glasses The remote control for the television The remote control for the TiVo The remote control for the VCR Chips of drywall from the baseboard in the nursery Anything from a garbage can Toilet water Whatever you're holding right now The thing you just took away from me An empty diaper box Mommy's cell phone Daddy's cell phone Anything that is in a cupboard Autonomy

I am 28 weeks into my second pregnancy.  I am irritable and emotional and highly sensitive and forgetful and klutzy and tired and I would like a bottle of bold red wine, please.  The first time around had its charm because it was new! Exciting! Look what my body can do! This time around just feels long...and I haven't even hit the hard part yet.   I have broken a lot of things recently, due to my general clumsiness and lack of spatial awareness: our glass coffee table, a teapot, a glass, some salad tongs, and the coffee pot - before I had made coffee that morning.  There were tears.  It is very frustrating not to be able to trust yourself to keep things unbroken.  Almost as frustrating as it is to try to explain why you're crying when you just are.  Just because.  Hormones.  Whatever.   It makes sense that pregnancy number two would be harder.  As a friend of mine said, "Your body had 33 years to prepare for the first pregn...

There are two ways to store your Tupperware (by which I of course mean Zellers-brand plastic containers and old margarine tubs):  Separate the bowls and lids, and stack them in such a way that maximizes the space available, so that you have as little air as possible taking up room in your Tupperware drawer; Keep the lids on and stack them one on top of the other. The first way seems like the smart way, which is why most people choose it.  "I'm being efficient with space!  Look how much stuff I can fit in here when I use my mad Tetris skills!" and that's all fine and dandy, until you actually need to put away the leftover pasta and then you're all, "Where is the effing lid?  Why can't I find the effing lid?  STOP TELLING ME TO CALM DOWN" I choose the second option because I don't need to be able to fit millions of plastic containers into one spot; I just need about 10 of them, and I need to not have to sift through 18 lids trying to fi...

3 minutes in:   Really, Jennifer Lopez? You're being artificially inseminated and you're concerned that the doctor is going to be offended by your chipped nail polish? Is that really how you feel? Also, really? You wore fake eyelashes to this appointment? 4 minutes: Really? I'm hearing a voice inside your head saying, "Oh, I hope this works. I've wanted this for so long. Maybe this isn't how I pictured it, exactly." Really? Did that need to be written? Can't we just assume it? 4 minutes: Oh good, you have a quirky best friend who squawks at you about how horrible her four kids are, and how damaged her goods are and how that should therefore mean you shouldn't have kids of your own. This is getting worse by the second. 5 minutes: Ugh, did we just do a flashback to your male friend doing a spit-take when you asked him to be your baby-daddy? And then did he ask if you were out of your mind, and screech about how he's in his sexual prime, in...

Ten years ago (ten of them!) Renée Strasfeld and I were sharing a dressing room at the St. Lawrence Centre, getting ready for a performance of Free to Be...You and Me directed by Michael Rubinoff, and she said I just had to listen to this awesome song from The Last Five Years  by Jason Robert Brown, which includes a woman singing her subtext while doing a musical theatre audition. I loved the song, then loved the show, then desperately wanted to do the show, and last year the wonderful Kate Stevenson gave me that opportunity.  My castmate, John Boag, who's voice is like butter but even better (so maybe like butter mixed with brown sugar and then Tina Fey serves it to you in a chocolate bowl?) made an audio recording of one of our performances, and I've posted a few of the numbers on my website . Here is a link to my performance of  "Climbing Uphill" , the number that Renée played for me that day in 2003.  As much as I loved it then, it really res...

I'm a mom. These are my secrets. 1. I am afraid all the time . I have so much to lose now. 2. For awhile, in an attempt to lose my remaining pregnancy weight, I was eating Lean Cuisine and trying to stick to 1200 calories a day (no, not while breast-feeding, you don't have to report me to the authorities). If you can't picture what 1200 calories a day looks like, here is a sample menu: Breakfast: 1 rice cake. Lunch: Air soup with dust sprinkled on top, and if you're really hungry you can throw in a mint leaf, but just a small one (THINK OF THE CALORIES). Dinner: One frozen chicken breast with a garnish of boiled broccoli (the low-fat kind). AND THEN TAKE A SLEEPING PILL SO YOU'LL PASS OUT SO YOU WON'T SNACK BECAUSE SNACKING AFTER 7PM IS THE WORST. So that was great for awhile and I really saw results, but mostly those results were me being really hungry all the time. Now I am okay with taking the weight loss reeeeally slowly. Food is d...

The baby is here! The baby is here! Here is a quick re-cap of that time in August when our son came into the world: Was induced August 20th, 2012. Fabulous experience. Epidurals are the new awesome. Gave birth to a beautiful son, Remy Owen Jutzi Sullivan! 7lbs, 13 oz. My hubby and the doctor were great at helping me get the baby to be on the outside of my body. Felt amazed when Remy was born, as though it were a dream. Sent my dad to get McDonalds an hour after the birth. Really needed a Filet o' Fish. Remy was alert right from the get-go, and everyone agreed he was a mini-Phil. Well into the next morning, still wondered if it was all a dream from which I was about to be awoken and told, "You're still 4 centimetres." We're still learning, and we're still tired, but overall Phil and I are feeling pretty darn good in our new parenting roles.  Here are my thoughts at the 7-week mark: Not Being Pregnant is GREAT In my final months of preg...

I am 40 weeks and counting now, so I've almost reached the finish line of my first pregnancy.  Whew.  Soon life will finally go back to normal.  I love making statements like that.  It gives people the opportunity to say things like, "Life will never be normal again!" and "Just you wait, you don't even know what you're getting into!" and "Hey, that's my chocolate cake, just 'cause you finished yours doesn't mean you can start eating off my plate, fatty!"  Er, maybe that last one doesn't apply. But, y'know?  For all the warnings I got about how much unsolicited advice I'd receive, and how many strangers would touch my belly without asking, and what inappropriately terrifying labour stories people would share with me during my pregnancy, I've really had very little of any of that.  And, frankly, I'm a little disappointed.  Here I was, all ready to be righteous and indignant and say things like, "...

I have now read every book ever written on pregnancy and parenting, which means that I know everything.   Everything . And until the baby comes and I discover I actually know nothing, I'm really enjoying being smug and having lots of ideas and opinions of how things will go in our first few months with Baby Sullivan.  I don't know how much time I have before the Big Day, so before I go into labour and completely lose my sense of humour for three to twelve weeks I thought I'd debunk some common myths about parenting.  1. SLEEP IS A THING OF THE PAST Um, I don't think so.  I need  my eight hours, okay? My husband and I have it all figured out. He will get up with the baby, change the baby, gently rock the baby, bring the baby to me, nestle the baby next to me in bed where I will breast feed in my sleep (I believe this is called the "dream feed"?), after which my husband will burp the baby and return said baby to his/her bassinet until the next fee...

Dear Alison of the Future, So, you've decided to get pregnant again. Or maybe like the first time around, it wasn't so much a decision as a pleasant surprise. Mazel tov! I am currently enjoying my 32nd week of my first pregnancy, and I thought I'd write you a letter of advice to help you through the next 40 weeks or so, in case you've forgotten what pregnancy is like.  No need to thank me.  I'm really doing this more for me than for you. Enjoy. 1. BUY TUMS IMMEDIATELY Don't have heartburn? You will. Keep them by your bedside; in your purse; stuffed in your bra. Eat them three at a time. Buy the special "Smoothies" version, because you deserve it! Which brings me to my next point... 2. YOU DESERVE EVERYTHING! Don't forget to use the pregnancy card all the time . You can't drink, you feel fat, you have to do a 5 point turn to get out of bed in the morning, so for goodness sake take advantage where you can. "Wou...

Okay. So my pregnancy has been pretty good so far.  Some light nausea in the first trimester, along with some major fatigue, followed by a second trimester burst of energy and glowiness, mixed with some heart burn, leg cramps and achy muscles, and now onto my final trimester, which is certain to feel longer than just 10 weeks.  I can just tell.   I was out shopping today and kept bumping into things.  I felt off-balance and tired, and whenever I caught sight of my reflection I thought, "That lady does NOT look happy." I went home and passed out for three hours.  Oh, what a delicious nap! Whenever I do this I try not to listen to that nagging voice in the back of my head that says, "Naps won't be an option when you're pregnant next time and have a toddler underfoot!" My inner voice can be a real pill. The good news is, I went to the gym today. And I'm still sleeping relatively well, save for those times I just really need toast at 4am and tho...

A friend just sent me a link to this article from the latest issue of The Atlantic magazine, entitled, "Is Facebook Making Us Lonely?" I think about this a lot. I feel like I am a too-frequent user of Facebook and I wish I could quit, but I can't bring myself to do it. My reasons for staying: I have so many great photos and videos of my nieces and nephews on there, it's a great place to network, and I don't want to miss out on anything because I'm off the grid. Also, without Facebook my husband and I likely never would have gotten together. It's amazing how far a poke can take you. Did it just get weird in here? Anyway... I will say that having Facebook makes me far less interested in stopping an acquaintance on the street to see what they've been up to. Nowadays, it's more than likely I already know more about their life than I care to, because they probably just posted a retro-looking photo of the vegan chili they ate last night, al...

I did the voiceover for this Loreal Healthy Look commercial. The first couple of times I read the word "glossier" I pronounced it "glossi-ay" as though it were a sexy French-sounding name brand, when really it was just the word, "glossier". The director kindly said to me, "Okay, that sounds great. Next time can you try just saying, 'glossier'?" and I burst out laughing at my mistake. It was one of those moments where I wonder about my brain.

I had read in more than one pregnancy book that some women get nervous during that period of pregnancy in the early 2nd trimester when symptoms start disappearing, but the baby hasn't started kicking yet. It can start to feel like you're not pregnant when you lose the nausea and the fatigue, and all the proof you have left is that your pants don't fit. I knew that when this happened to me, I'd expect it and therefore wouldn't worry. But I'm an almost-mom now, so of course I did worry. I felt weirdly normal for awhile there. Sure, my tummy was getting bigger - but was it really? Or was I just imagining it? And why wasn't I exhausted? And how could I know if everything was okay? I started feeling anxious. I wanted proof. And just in time, at my 20th week, it became clear that those slight movements in my stomach that I'd chalked up to normal tummy rumblings were indeed Fetus Jutzivan making itself known. I wouldn't describe it as butterflies or popco...

Thanks to my producers, Kirk Best and Derek Esposito - the best directors/lighting crew/sound guys/beer drinkers a girl could ever find on Craigslist - I present to you a music video for my song, "Good Enough". Special thanks to Jordan Kanner and Nicole Stamp for acting so good. Alison Jutzi - "Good Enough" from Kirk Best on Vimeo .

The most important thing I've learned thus far is that sometimes when you're married and you're supposed to be the maid of honour in your dear friend Kristy's wedding in August of 2012, you find out that you're going to be giving birth to your first child right around that same time. Despite our best efforts (well, I suppose they weren't our best , case in point being my growing tummy), life found a way. Jeff Goldblum was right! I am 17 weeks along and feeling pretty good, if not a little tired. All the time. But I'm sure I'll feel like myself again when the baby is born and I have to feed it every two hours. Right? Totally like myself? Nothing will really change too much? It'll be like owning a houseplant? Ha! Like I'd ever own a houseplant. Those things are way too hard to take care of. So that's what I've learned. Also, I love my marriage. I really do. This loving partnership thing truly is wonderful. And I'm happy to b...

Random thoughts from an Oscars broadcast of which I only saw segments. I love you, Billy Crystal. You're like a totally hilarious version of my mother's apple pie, if my mother's apple pie were slightly puffy from too much Botox. Angelina Jolie, we'll totally still like you if you gain 20 lbs. Please stop the insanity and eat five roast beef dinners immediately. Mr. Plummer, you are a class act. I'm sorry for all the people who keep telling you how much they enjoyed you in The Sound of Music . Kristen Wiig, I am so sad you didn't win for screenwriting. I desperately wanted to hear your acceptance speech. Angelina again: What was with the weird stance when you presented? Was this an inside joke that I didn't get?

I've always loved Valentine's Day. When I was in primary school, my mom would bake heart-shaped sugar cookies and write the names of all my classmates on them in pink and red icing. They were always a hit. And every year I received a lot of Valentines. Perhaps because of the cookies? Let's not delve too deeply into that. Being a serial monogomist for much of my late teens and early 20's, I usually had someone to share the day with, and I just loved it. I loved getting a box of chocolates and a card and, well, that was really all I needed. Just a small token of affection. And the permission to eat a whole box of chocolates in the name of a Saint. Some of my most memorable Valentine's Days, however, have been the ones on which I was single. I have never been one to ignore or scoff at the day; I've always wanted to take note of it in some way. February 14th, 2002 I am rehearsing for my first ever professional play with Theatre & Company in Kitchener. I am in 1...

I could give you details about my next gig, or I could just post all three posters my graphic designer husband (graphic husband?) made for the event. I can't decide which one I like best.

Well, despite starting off the run having contracted the plague, I have really enjoyed doing The Last Five Years with Clearwater Theatre Company at the Tarragon extra-space, and our audiences seem to be enjoying the show as well. We've had lovely reviews from both Mooney on Theatre and NOW Magazine , and many a positive comment from many a friend and relative. This production marks the first professional show in Clearwater's history, and I'm excited to follow the work of this company and its Artistic Director, Kate Stevenson. Expect good things, folks!

An interview with myself. Interviewer: We're here with Alison Jutzi today who is going to talk to us about her latest project, "The Last Five Years", which will be going up at the Tarragon theatre this January. Welcome, Alison. Alison: Oh, thank you. It's a pleasure to be here. Interviewer: Alison, can you tell us a little bit about the show? Alison: Great question. The show is a brilliant musical written by Jason Robert Brown, and centres around a man and woman who fall in love, get married and then get separat- Interviewer: Whoa whoa whoa! Don't give anything away! Alison: Well, I'm not actually giving away anything that you don't find out in the first 10 seconds of the show. This show is unique in that one of the characters experiences the events of the five-year-long relationship in chronological order, and one of them in reverse. Interviewer: Ohhhhh...like Memento ? Alison: Everyone keeps saying that. Yes, I guess so, like Memento . But not really....

And now, the much-anticipated second post in my What I Have Learned About Marriage collection. You can read the first post here . Age of marriage: (almost) 7 months They say that the first year of marriage is the hardest, but I cannot see how the year after all the wedding planning is done could possibly be difficult. Not spending several paralyzing hours a week trying to pick out a china pattern at the Bay has been great for our relationship; Saying "husband" and "wife" is fun! For the first few months it sounded almost silly, but now I'm used to it and I like it; I haven't had as many people ask me when I'm going to have children as I thought I would; Sometimes when you're married, people call you Mrs. Sullivan and it makes you giggle; Sometimes when you're married, people call your husband Mr. Jutzi and that makes you guffaw; That joint bank account we started is fabulous! I've bought more clothes with that money...I'M JOKING! IT'...

I am very pleased to announce that I will be joining the My Pop Choir team in the new year when I start conducting a choir at their brand new Bloor West location. My Pop Choir is for people who want to sing because it feels good. There are no auditions, and no one ever has to sing a solo. It is just a group of people getting together for an hour and a half each week, singing in harmony and having a good time. Check out the My Pop Choir website for more information!

This post could also be entitled, "Conversations between actors that seem interesting when you're involved in them, but are definitely tedious and boring when you're not." Here are snippets of conversations I overheard at that commercial audition I had for that cleaning product on Friday. They are typical of the banter that occurs when two actor friends run into each other: Have you been going out for a lot of film and t.v.? No, just commercials lately. It's so hard to get your foot in the door. I knowwww. I didn't go to one audition all summer. ALL summer. And I haven't booked anything in a year. Oh, that's too bad. I've had a really hard time being seen too. This week I shot my first commercial in a year. That's great! Yeah, it's good. But I wish I could just get my foot in the door for some film and t.v. auditions. Tell me about it. So I ran into *casting director* and she told me she was sorry for not calling me in. She remembers me bec...

My Drake General Store spot is out, and I've never looked better.

Just wanna get that out there. Because this post is going to be about pregnancy, and I don't want everyone to get all excited like when I posted a link to this hilarious Hairpin article about delivering a baby, and subsequently caused a bit of a stir. I want to talk about those people who comment on Facebook statuses of pregnant women, warning them how crappy their life is about to get. You know the kind. And if you don't, here are some examples: Preggers: "I had the best sleep last night. 9 hours!" Negative Nelly: "Enjoy your sleep now because you won't be getting any when the baby comes lol!" Preggers: "What a wonderful first anniversary with the love of my life: Steak and ice cream, and a lovely moonlit stroll on the beach...it really doesn't get better than this." Debbie Downer : "Don't get used to it, once the baby comes you won't get any alone time lol!" Preggers: "Loved having a girls...