Overheard backstage.

"I lost a pom pom, do we have any extras?"

Actor: "What's my next scene!"
Dresser: "I don't know!"

"Has anyone seen my frilly red underwear?"

"I shouldn't have had that falafel before the show."

"Sorry!" (usually following a collision as actors rush to make entrances)

"Greg, that dress looks great on you. I love the sparkles."

"I have to make a gunshot noise but I CAN'T FIND MY DRUMSTICK!"

"Crap, the curtain's busted."

"Someone tell stage management the curtain's busted."

"Does stage management know the curtain's busted?"

Actor: "Just so you know, the curtain's busted."
SM: "Yes, WE KNOW, THANK YOU. We'll fix it at intermission."

"How can I make myself pop out of this corset a little more?"

Actor 1:"I feel like I'm getting a bit of a sore throat"
Actor 2:"Don't touch me"

"Someone's pom pom is on stage"

"I can't find my gas mask"

"Are there any timbits left?"

"I forget what note I start on."

"Hey, I think someone brought you flowers. Oh wait, no - they're for the other Mike."

"Is this Act I or Act II?"

"I have a hole in my fishnets."

"You up for a beer after?"