Alison Jutzi Talks Amongst Herself

My bff Kate is a poet and sometimes I get to accompany her to poetry readings. I love this window into her life. Inspired by Kate, as well as the poets Maggie Smith (whose book, You Could Make This Place Beautiful, I just read and loved) and Saeed Jones (who with Zach Stafford and Sam Sanders hosts Vibe Check, my fave podcast) I have written this: I'm not here to be pretty for you I'll wait And let you contemplate what you just said Without Filling the air To cushion your discomfort I'll stare While you make that joke Without Feeling the need to laugh I'm not here for you. That's not why I put my shoes on. I just want To walk my dog.

I love this dress I bought recently from Consign Your Curves here in Guelph. This is a shot I got with Felix at Eden's sweet sixteen party. 

 

I went to Vegas with Jess and Jennifer in December... and then I went to Mexico with Eva and Sandy in March... and I love my life because laughing really hard and having the best conversations whilst also adventuring and eating delicious food with my favourite people is so joyful.  Bless Philly for hanging with the boys.

I hate conversing on a cell phone, so I got some bluetooth headphones (the earmuff kind, not the stick-it-in-your-earhole kind) with a built-in mic, and now phone calls are much more enjoyable. So enjoyable, in fact, that I am CALLING PEOPLE ON THE PHONE FOR FUN which is a thing I haven't done much in recent years. I'm learning that I need to begin these conversations with, "Everything is okay, no one has died, I'm literally just calling because I like you." Social media is becoming a bigger heap of white nationalist garbage each day, but I think we all needed it to transparently suck so that we could finally move on. Instead of scrolling, the first thing I check on my phone in the morning is what new podcasts have been released. I'm also starting to follow more newsletters of specific people who share thoughtful content. There is nothing to be gained from being inundated with hate by people who feed off our shock. So, I'm pretty pumped for connecting more...

 My first thought of the new year was, "TIME TO START THE GARDEN" which is cute because no, it's not. I can't plant outside till the middle of May. HOWEVER I did start winter sowing last year and will do so again this year. It's a fabulous way to start seedlings outside in January or February. Essentially, you plant in plastic containers that are open at the top so moisture can get in. They act like little greenhouses. I want to cover my property in flowers this year so I harvested a bunch of seeds from some of my favourites (natives like cardinal flower, bee balm, dense blazing star and non-natives like zinnias) and I'll winter sow a bunch so I have seedlings that are ready to go in the ground in May.  Oh goodness, of course I'll show you some pictures of last year's garden. Thank you for asking!

In 2008 I was on a CBC talent search competition called, "How Do You Solve a Problem Like Maria?" An old theatre school classmate made me a Wikipedia page at the time because of how famous I was*. She put my birth year as 10 years later than it actually is (1988 instead of 1978) because she didn't want people to know how old she was and figured they'd deduce her age by her association with me. It was bizarre to me, but kinda funny, and I left it there (mostly because I didn't know how to make Wikipedia edits).  Anyway, I don't have a Wikipedia page anymore and I am now 46 (in Wikipedia years that's 36). Aside from some weird perimenopause symptoms, like hating bras and stupid questions, I feel very into myself at this age. I am comfortable in my body and have confidence in my opinions. It's a work-in-progress, but I'm truly learning what I authentically want and feel without being swayed by all my early life training in compliance.  It's feckin...